


Elevators and Half Price Sales

by 0loveisasong0



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Claire's, Hot Topic, M/M, job au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:47:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27015997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0loveisasong0/pseuds/0loveisasong0
Summary: Petekey Claire's/Hot topic auMikey Way works at Hot topic, Pete Wentz works at Claire's, the stores are right across from each other in a mall.
Relationships: Mikey Way/Pete Wentz
Comments: 25
Kudos: 136





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off a comment by @licecock (on twitter) under a tweet that suggested this as an AU topic. I took it and ran. It's gonna be long form and I'll be putting it out in chapters. I'm in grad school right now, but I will be doing my best to put it out weekly.
> 
> I used to work at a Claire's so a lot of the way I write about it comes from my own personal experience as an ex-employee
> 
> follow me on twitter @heidi_rosaleigh

Mikey looked at the clock for the third time in the past five minutes, hoping more time had passed, but ending up disappointed yet again. It’s not that he particularly disliked his job, sometimes it was just boring, especially when there was no one in the store. Apparently 11:30a.m. on a Tuesday isn’t exactly the time teenagers go to get their band merch. He marched into the mall just over half an hour ago to open the store, and not a single person has come in yet. He risked pulling out his phone to send a few texts, and of course as soon as he flipped it open the little bell went off, alerting him that someone walked through the door.  


“Hey,” Mikey said without bothering to look up from his phone. Usually people didn’t want help and had a pretty good idea of what they were looking for, so why bother asking if they needed help if he knew the answer was going to be no?  


“Hi!” Said a cheery voice right in front of Mikey as a pair of hands slammed down on the counter, startling him enough to drop his phone.  


Now irritated that he actually had to do his job, Mikey looked up. Staring back at him was a pair of heavily lined eyes half hidden under straight, black hair. “Hi?” Mikey couldn’t take his eyes of the stupid purple hoodie he was wearing. “Let me guess, you want an application?”  


“What? No! I already have a job, dude. I work right across from here.” The guy pointed through the door.  


Mikey squinted through the door. “At the Build-A-Bear?”  


“Claire’s,” He pointed at the nametag pinned to his sweatshirt. “See? Claire’s.” Right under the store name was another name, Pete.  


“Cool,” Mikey nodded, not actually caring about where he worked. “So what are you doing over here?” He knew asking more questions wasn’t going to get this guy out of here faster, but come on, he had nothing better to do right now.  


“Mall’s dead, I was bored, you looked bored.” Pete shrugged. “Anyway, I like this store.”  


Of course this guy likes Hot Topic, Mikey thought. He considered asking how long Pete had been watching him to know he was bored, but he was over asking questions. “No offence, but I don’t think you’re supposed to just leave your store while you’re supposed to be working.” It didn’t matter that he also wasn’t supposed to be texting at work, it seemed like less of an offense, at least he was still there.  


“I can see from here.” Pete waved his hand in a ‘don’t worry about it’ gesture before leaning on the counter, facing away from the Claire’s.  


Mikey decided he was done with this conversation, so he squatted down to retrieve his phone from the floor. The back had popped off and the battery was a little askew, but he just pushed it back into place and turned it on again. There was a new text in his inbox, he read it quickly and got to responding when he realized Pete was still standing there. “Can I help you with something?”  


“Nah,” Pete picked at his chipped nail polish. After a moment he looked up at Mikey again. “Who’re you texting?”  


Mikey looked up from his phone to squint at Pete over the top of his glasses. “My brother.” Why won’t he leave?  


“Neat,” Pete plucked the cell phone out of Mikey’s hands and began pressing buttons. Once he seemed satisfied with himself, he handed the phone back to Mikey. “Here, now you can text someone cool.”  


The contact book was pulled up on his screen, and there was a new contact added, Pete. Not only had he added himself to Mikey’s contacts, he had also set himself as speed dial number 5. “Thanks,” Mikey said flatly, already going back to texting someone else.  


“I sent myself a text, so I have your number too, Mikey.” Pete pointed at Mikey’s nametag before he leaned back against the counter, this time facing the door. “Shit, someone just walked in. Gotta go,” and with that, Pete launched himself off the counter and was out the door, half jogging across the way and into the Claire’s.  


Mikey watched him for a few minutes, almost entertained with how animated Pete was while speaking to the customers. The little girl was looking at Pete with wide eyes, like he was the most interesting thing she had ever seen, and Mikey thought, maybe she wasn’t that far off. He was handsome, but in a weirdly pretty way, and as annoying as he was, Mikey was kind of hoping a text from him would pop up on the screen. Whatever, like most people that worked in this mall, Pete would probably only be there for another few weeks before he quit. Or got fired.  


He decided to busy himself by moving the buttons around in their bin, and once he decided there was no way to sort them, he started straightening the clip-in hair extensions. The buzz in his back pocket caused him to drop one of the ugly, striped pieces of plastic hair. He flipped his phone open to be greeted by the little bouncing envelope, letting him know he had a new message. A quick click of a few buttons and he had the text opened.  


From: Pete  
Hi! XD  


Mikey looked up from his phone and towards the Claire’s. As soon as his eyes found Pete, he got up on his tiptoes and waved excitedly. The hem of his shirt rode up a little, exposing what, from where Mikey was standing, looked like a tattoo. There didn’t seem to be anyone in the store anymore, so Pete had returned to his previous state of boredom. Mikey gave a small wave back and flipped his phone shut. He saw no need to respond, he waved, that was enough. As soon as he had his phone back in his pocket, it buzzed again, to which Mikey just rolled his eyes and went about unfolding and refolding T-shirts. There was a part of him that really wanted to open that text, and there was an even smaller part of him that hoped if he didn’t respond for long enough, Pete would come back over.  


Of course Pete didn’t come back over, he really had to choose now to actually do his job. Mikey had given him an entire hour to come back, no texting, not even looking over. The audacity, to leave Mikey bored and alone. He stole a glance over at Claire’s to see Pete enthusiastically waving a piercing gun, while explaining something to the little girl in the chair. Well, at least one of them actually had customers. He leaned back against the wall and watched a little. The way his entire face lit up when he smiled, all his gestures big and excited, the way he never stopped shifting from side to side. Pete was a little shorter than the girl’s mother, even in his thick-soled skate shoes, but it was somehow endearing.  


Mikey wondered absently how long Pete had worked there, how many days he had been watching Mikey, but Mikey didn’t so as much as notice him. He was a little irritated with himself, but he couldn’t decide if it was because he never noticed Pete before, or if it was because now he couldn’t stop noticing him. The girl was bouncing excitedly in the chair, holding her mother’s hand. Then Pete held the little gun up to her ear, and then the other, and she leapt out of the chair to look in a mirror. Eventually Pete had to corral her back to the chair so he could clean the piercing, he was smiling the entire time. God damn he has a nice smile, Mikey couldn’t stop thinking. Gross. The bell rang throughout the store and suddenly a group of mall goths wandered in, and Mikey had to go back to doing his job. He tried not to steal glances at Pete, but every once in a while, he couldn’t help it. 

\-----

When Mikey’s shift was finally done for the day, he clocked out as soon as his coworker arrived. He pulled his coat on and snuck out the door before one of the customers tried to ask for help. Pete was standing outside Claire’s, phone in hand, and as soon as Mikey walked out, he perked up.  


“Hey!” Pete half jogged to close the gap between him and Mikey. “Are you off for the day?”  


“Yeah,” Mikey pushed up his glasses and turned towards the exit.  


“Cool, me too,” Pete said as he fell into step beside Mikey.  


“Cool,” Mikey echoed. He pulled his phone out.  


“Are you doing anything tonight?”  


“Yeah,” Mikey lied.  


“Nice! What’s the plan?”  


“Family dinner.” Another lie. Sure, he still lived with his parents, but the idea of them having a family dinner was a fucking joke. Like any normal night, he was going to go home, drink coffee, make himself some bullshit dinner while Gerard smokes in the kitchen, and then inevitably have to share said dinner with Gerard because he doesn’t want to make his own.  


“Damn, I live alone, I bet that would be nice.” Pete said, and it sounded almost sullen. “I’m probably just gonna have a hot pocket.”  


Without thinking, Mikey wanted to invite Pete over for family dinner, and now he felt bad that wasn’t even a real thing. “Yeah, sometimes.” Mikey thought about when they used to actually have family dinner, all the times his parents would yell at Gerard for not being the son they wanted him to be. How it would lead to Gerard storming out, only for him to come back hours later, drunk out of his mind, which would start yet another fight. How once Gerard was gone, his parents barely even noticed Mikey was still at the table. “It’s only once a week though.”  


“Still, I’m sure it’s nice to spend time with family. My parents live in Chicago.” Pete shrugged.  


Mikey looked over at him. Pete’s hands were shoved in his pockets, shoulders hunched. He looked small. They were out in the parking lot now. Their cars were parked right next to each other. Huh. “Do you work tomorrow?”  


“Yeah, same time as today.”  


“Same, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Mikey smirked.  


Pete’s face lit up immediately, splitting into a huge smile. “Cool! I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good night, man!” And with that, got into his car.

Mikey’s drive home was uneventful, Gerard left some weird Danish Metal CD in his car, so he resigned himself to listen to that. It was actually pretty good. He would have to tell Gerard that.  


\----

Gerard was already in the kitchen when Mikey got home, a cigarette in one hand, a beer bottle in the other. “Hey,” He waved the hand holding the cigarette at Mikey.  


“Hey,” Mikey didn’t look at Gerard, because if he saw the look on Mikey’s face, he’d be pissed. But he couldn’t help it, seeing his brother already drinking at 5 in the afternoon, knowing he probably only woke up an hour ago, it hurt. “What do you want for dinner?”  


“Don’t worry about it, I ordered us pizza.” Gerard said.  


“Thanks, man.” Mikey poured himself a cup of coffee and slid into the chair across from Gerard. He didn’t know what else to say, so when his phone buzzed in his pocket he pulled it out as quickly as he could, opening the text from Pete as soon as his phone was flipped open.  


“How’s that family dinner going?”  


Mikey looked up at Gerard for a second, then back down at his phone. “my brother ordered pizza” He typed back quickly.  


The reply was almost instant. “Dude, I’m having a pizza hot pocket, the odds!”  


Mikey couldn’t help but smile down at his phone. “Cool” he replied. Pete was kind of dumb, but not in an annoying way, in an endearing way that made Mikey look forward to the next text. He was sucked in, not noticing anything else around him until the doorbell rang and Gerard got up to retrieve the pizza.  


Finally, finally Gerard asked, “What are you smiling so much at?” When he put the pizza down on the table. He handed Mikey a plate, opened the box, placed two pieces on Mikey’s plate, and then on his own, still waiting for an answer.  


“Nothing, just talkin’ to someone.” Mikey shrugged, taking a bite of pizza.  


“What’s her name?” Gerard laughed.  


“Pete.”  


“Oh,” Gerard tilted his head to the side. “Oh?”  


Mikey didn’t say anything, just ate his pizza and then climbed the stairs to his room, smiling at every dumb thing Pete said, which was basically every text he sent. He didn’t want to just sit around and wait for Gerard to read into something that clearly wasn’t anything. Not everything is that deep. At least, not to Mikey.  


The final text from Pete that night answered a question that had been running through Mikey’s head all day. “I can’t believe I’ve worked there for 6 months, and just finally said hi to you today.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi frends! Here is chapter 2! I'm planning on uploading this weekly, posting every Monday, and I'll do as best as I can to stick to that.
> 
> A little warning about this chapter, there is some mentions of alcoholism and some angst, and also gets kind of emotional. I hope you guys like it!   
> Thanks for reading!  
> follow me on twitter @heidi_rosaleigh

Pete was waiting in the parking lot when Mikey got to work the next week, wearing that stupid purple hoodie again. Mikey smiled. They’d been texting every day, occasionally talking when they were both at work. This was the first time Pete made a point to wait for Mikey.  


“Hey!” Pete waved and bounced over to Mikey as soon as he was out of his car.  


“Hi,” Mikey tried his best to wave back between the coffee thermos in one had and his keys in the other.  


“Dude, I love the jacket!” Pete said excitedly as he struggled to keep up with Mikey’s pace as they made their way through the parking lot.  


Mikey glanced down. It wasn’t that special of a jacket, just an asymmetrical black jacket with some extra pockets. He shoved his keys into one of the pockets. “Thanks. I like yours.” Mikey offered, just to be nice, but it wasn’t exactly a lie, he really thought the purple looked good on him. Complemented his eyes or something.  


Pete tugged the sleeves down over his hands, his smile growing impossibly bigger. “Thanks! It’s my favorite color. I’ve had it forever, I think my mom got it for me in like, high school.”  


“My brother is the same way, wearing the same shit forever,” Mikey said, opening the door and holding it for Pete. Pete made a face like no one has ever held the door for him before. Which Mikey thought seemed unfair. Pete was way too nice to not have the door held for him at least once a day. Mikey decided then that he would open the door for Pete every time they would come to one together.  


The mall was always so empty when they first arrived in the morning, most of the grates still closed in front of the stores, a few tired employees milling about. He always liked the way it looked before it opened, the lights dim, the lack of people, the way the music seemed so much louder when there weren’t voices rising over it. The corridor that the Hot Topic was down was Mikey’s favorite. It was just out of the way enough that even after the mall finally opened, there would still be quiet and darkness over it for a few minutes longer. Except for the bright pink of the Claire’s that seemed to emanate from across the hall.  


Pete was babbling about a movie he watched last night, about the characters and the stupid way they dressed. Suddenly, Pete turned completely towards Mikey. “Hey, you work at Hot Topic and you don’t even have your ears pierced?”  


“I have this,” Mikey said while pointing to his nose ring.  


“Yeah, but you’d look so good with your ears pierced!”  


His fingers instinctively went to his ears, which were almost entirely covered by his hair and a beanie. “You can barely see them.”  


“C’mon,” Pete smirked. “What time do you get off work?”  


Mikey was knelt down to unlock the grate so he could start his morning work. “3:30.”  


“I get off at 4! You should come over when you’re done and I’ll pierce your ears!” Pete tapped on Mikey’s shoulder until he turned around to look at him. “I’ll let you use my employee discount.”  


The lights were beginning to turn on through the mall, he knew it was almost opening time. He knew Pete wouldn’t leave until Mikey answered him. “Yeah, fine, whatever.” Mikey finally relinquished. He rolled his eyes, but he was holding back a smile.  


After a quick triumphant cheer, Pete half jogged over to Claire’s, probably because he was already late.  


Maybe, just maybe, Mikey spent his entire shift cutting glances at Pete. How had he never noticed him before last week?

\-----

When Mikey clocked out for the day, he considered just leaving, just heading home to lay in bed and watch TV. But when he glanced across the hall, he saw Pete smiling at him and waving the little piercing gun, and he knew that he didn’t have to heart to blow him off.  


“Alright!” Pete almost yelled when Mikey walked through the doors.  


“Yeah, alright, let’s do this.” He followed Pete to the little ear piercing station and sat on the stool when Pete gestured in its direction. There was a bunch of paperwork he had to fill out, all on a sparkly pink clipboard. It all felt so unofficial that way. He pretended to listen as Pete explained all the aftercare and everything. He already explained to Pete that he didn’t have to, that he was in his twenties and also had a nose piercing and tattoos, but Pete said it was mandatory and went on anyway. It all took way too long for something he really didn’t want to do to begin with, but it was funny watching Pete be just as animated with Mikey as he was with the little girls. The worst part was when Pete insisted that Mikey take off his hat, and then to add insult to injury, used sparkly barrettes to clip his hair back. As Mikey watched him clean off the gun using a cotton ball out of a suspicious looking canister, a thought popped into his head. “Is this sanitary? Or even safe for that matter?”  


Pete clipped the earring cartridge into the gun. “Oh yeah, definitely,” but there was a lack of confidence in his words.  


The earrings would probably get infected, but Mikey wasn’t gonna back out now. “Yeah, sure. You’re right.” It wouldn’t matter anyway, because before he had a chance to protest, Pete rested his hand on Mikey’s cheek and positioned the gun. It felt warm and soft, even though it was covered in a plastic glove. His touch was impossibly gentle, and he was leaning in so close to see that Mikey could feel his breath against his neck.  


“Do you want me to count down?” Pete asked, and Mikey thought his voice sounded a lot calmer.  


“Uh, yeah, sure,” Mikey mumbled. There was something stirring in his chest, but he didn’t remember being this nervous for his nose piercing. Huh. When Pete counted down it was in that same, soft voice, Mikey almost forgot what he was doing until the sharp bite of the earring going in reminded him. “Shit.”  


Pete laughed, warm and bright, and said, “Yeah, it kinda hurts,” like Mikey didn’t know what a piercing felt like or something. “Other side now!”  


This time when Pete rested his hand on Mikey’s cheek, he decided it was a nice feeling, and he thought maybe, if they do get infected, he wouldn’t mind coming back and letting Pete pierce his ears over and over again. His voice was soothing as he explained to Mikey what he was doing, probably so used to doing it for kids, he didn’t think that he didn’t have to for Mikey. It was so calming, the way he spoke, it had to just be for the kids. But why was his face so close? Mikey could swear he felt Pete’s thumb brush gently over his jaw. He let his eyes slip shut.  


“Hey, are you okay?” Pete’s voice, suddenly louder, startled Mikey out of his thoughts. “You’re not gonna pass out on me, right? I don’t want to have to fill out paperwork today.”  


“Yeah,” Mikey said, shaking his head clear. What the fuck? “Yeah, I’m fine, sorry. Guess I didn’t sleep enough last night.” He shook his head again. “Let’s just get this over with.”  


Pete nodded stiffly and raised the gun again, this time getting right to the piercing part. It was over in a few seconds. He held up the mirror for Mikey and took the little clips out of his hair. “What do you think?”  


Mikey stared at his reflection. It looked fine to him, a little sparkle peeking out from under his hair. Really, he didn’t think it made that much difference, but Pete was smiling crazily, so he just had to smile back. “It looks great, thanks.”  


“It looks amazing!” Pete said, cleaning up all the supplies and moving stuff over to the register. “Like, really pretty.”  


Pretty. Never in Mikey’s life had anyone called him pretty. He shook his head and pulled his beanie back on. “So, how much do I owe you?” Mikey pulled out his wallet.  


“One sec,” Pete muttered, scanning things and pushing buttons. “$18.96.”  


“Not bad,” Mikey shrugged and pulled out a twenty, passing it Pete who handed back his change a lot faster than Mikey expected.  


“I guess I owe you dinner now.” Pete smiled.  


“Huh?”  


“You just spent money on something I kinda made you do, so I have to make it up to you!” Pete said, typing something into the computer. “Anyway, my shift is done. Let’s go.”  


“What?” Mikey asked, tilting his head to the side.  


“I’m buying you food, and you can’t so no, because I already decided.” Pete grabbed Mikey’s arm and steered him out of the store. He just now noticed the other employee was there, watching this unfold. When did they get here?  


“Where?” He didn’t know what to do other than keep asking questions.  


“Well the food court, I don’t have that much money, but like, wherever you want, I guess.” Pete finally let go of Mikey’s arm when they reached the end of the corridor, where it spilled out into the rest of the mall. It felt suddenly cold.  


Pete was looking at Mikey so expectantly, he struggled to think. “I like Auntie Anne’s.” It was the only restaurant in the mall Mikey could think of at the moment.  


“Nice!” Pete was off again, this time his hand wrapped around Mikey’s wrist, pulling him along, like Mikey wasn’t a solid 5 inches taller than him.  


Mikey was less than surprised when Pete ordered one of those cinnamon sugar pretzels with 2 sides of frosting and a slushie. It seemed like Pete was more surprised when he asked what Mikey wanted, and it was just a plain pretzel with cheese and a small coke. The tray of their food in hand, Pete chose a small booth against the wall and flopped down. Mikey followed.  


They were only sitting for a few seconds before Pete was basically covering his pretzel in icing, trying to get as much sugar into a single bite as possible. Mikey couldn’t help but laugh, he expected Pete to be offended, but he just laughed along with him. “Y’know, you have a really nice smile.”  


On most occasions, Mikey’s smile could be better described as just shy of a smirk. It was nothing compared to Pete’s smile, in his mind. Nonetheless, the compliment caused him to smile bigger, an actual, real smile. “Thanks.”  


“Did you see the new Dawn of the Dead movie?” Pete asked, seemingly out of nowhere.  


“No, why?” Mikey asked. He looked up at Pete and noticed him staring off in the distance. He followed Pete’s line of vision. There were two giant posters framing the door to the mall theater, both advertising said movie. “Ah.”  


“Do you wanna?” Pete took another bite of his icing drenched pretzel.  


Mikey thought for a moment. It’s not like he actually had anything better to do. His phone buzzed in his pocket, he ignored it. “Sure.”  


Pete’s face lit up like that was the best news he ever received. “Hell yeah! I love the original, super creepy, and seeing it in a mall just adds to it. Like you’re actually hiding from zombies, just like in the movie.”  


Dawn of the Dead was often one of the first things Mikey thought about in the morning coming into work. The way the mall was so dead and quiet, dark and a little eerie, he wouldn’t be surprised if a zombie stalked around the corner on any given morning. “I get it. My brother and I’ve watched it a lot, it’s one of our favorite movies.” Pete frowned at Mikey for what he thought was the first time ever. It made him feel exposed, maybe even sad. “What?”  


“You just-” Pete thought for a moment. “I don’t know, I feel like I know more about your brother than I know about you, and I’ve never even met him.”  


“I’ve only known you for a week.” Mikey said.  


“I know, I know, you just never talk about yourself.” Pete shrugged. “I want to know more about you.”  


Mikey choked a little on his bite of pretzel. No one ever really cared to know much about him, he didn’t really think he was all that interesting. He just kind of existed. Even though his brother stayed hidden away in his cave of a basement, any time Mikey brought his friends home, the second they met Gerard they were fascinated with him. He met Mikey’s coworker Frank once, and Frank immediately decided Gerard was the more exciting brother. So he wasn’t exactly used to people wanting to get to know him, not really. Usually he was standoffish enough to keep people from ever getting interested, but Pete didn’t seem deterred in the slightest. “I don’t think I’m that interesting, man.” Mikey finally admitted and took another bite of his pretzel. It had gotten cold.  


“Well I can’t know that for sure until I actually know something about you.” Pete stole a bite of Mikey’s pretzel once he had finished his own. Mikey was surprised to realize he didn’t mind. He just wasn’t that hungry, that’s all. “So, what’s your favorite movie? Just yours.”  


“Uhhh,” Mikey started, but then had to stop, because he wasn’t really sure. Most of the movies he watched a lot were because of his brother. He ripped off a piece of his pretzel and popped it in his mouth to give himself more time to think. “Jaws.” He answered resolutely after a minute.  


“Sick!” Pete raised his hand, and after a moment, Mikey realized he was asking for a high five. Mikey returned the gesture, albeit, a little less enthusiastic. “Why’s it your favorite?”  


If he was being honest, this was the first time anyone ever wanted to hear more about what Mikey had to say. He felt his face heat up and he was eternally grateful for his hair and glasses mostly covering his face. “I donno. It’s entertaining, but I really like the history around it I guess. Like how it was supposed to be a hardcore horror movie, but the shark wasn’t looking right, so they went for a more moody, artistic look. But I think that’s what makes it so good, it’s not a typical horror movie. It’s not just a shark attack movie, there’s all this social commentary too. And it’s dark, but not in a way that feels contrived, like, it really works.”  


With a smile, Pete stole the last bite of Mikey’s pretzel. “Dude, that’s awesome.” Pete said as he piled up all the wrappers and containers on the tray. “I think that’s the most I’ve ever heard you say at once.” He picked up the tray and started to make his way over to one of the trash cans. Mikey followed.  


The way theatres were lit was somehow nostalgic, since they were always the same, no matter the year or the city. Mikey scuffed his toe over the brightly patterned carpet where he stood in line a little behind Pete. The girl at the desk said something about the movie to Pete, who laughed loudly in return. Mikey didn’t think she was that funny. But Pete was smiling again and Mikey just had to wonder if he would ever find Mikey that funny. If He was ever going to make Pete laugh that much. “Alright, Mike’s, got the tickets!” Pete said, stepping away from the front desk.  


“Oh! Wait, I still need to get mine,” Mikey said quickly, gesturing towards the desk.  


“Nope, I get yours.” Pete waved the tickets. “C’mon.”  


“Oh,” Mikey shook his head as he started to follow Pete through the lobby and down a long hallway. “You didn’t have to.” He added quietly as Pete opened the door to their theater.  


“Yeah, no, I didn’t have to.” Pete smirked. “But I wanted to.”  


Mikey absently wondered if they should have gotten popcorn or soda or something, but they did also just eat, so maybe not. He just felt like he should at least do something for Pete. But then the previews started during Mikey’s mental debate and he lost his chance. They settled into their chairs next to each other and waited for the movie to start. 

\-----

It wasn’t the first jump scare, but it was within the first five that Pete flinched suddenly and grabbed Mikey’s hand, clutching it against his chest. Oh? Mikey thought to himself, not really knowing what to do. In all the horror movies he’d ever watched, he had never once grabbed the person’s hand sitting next to him. But now Pete was holding his hand like it was the only thing separating him from what was happening on the screen. Mikey wasn’t particularly scared of the movie, but it did feel nice, holding Pete’s hand. It was warm and soft, nicer now without a glove on, and where it was being pressed to his chest, Mikey could just barely feel Pete’s heart pounding away in his chest. He flexed his fingers and held Pete’s hand back. If Pete was that scared, Mikey would let him hold his hand. It wasn’t weird, not really. His phone buzzed in his pocket. He didn’t take it out.  


Eventually Mikey stopped thinking about it, he barely noticed when Pete’s grip would tighten in suspense. He tried not to move too much, in case Pete took that as him trying to get his hand free, which he wasn’t trying to do. He became suddenly aware of Pete again when there was a particularly gruesome death scene, and Pete clung to Mikey’s arm, tucking his face in the crook of Mikey’s neck.  


“Oh,” Mikey gasped. He could feel Pete’s breath on his neck, warm and fast. Now he felt his heart speed up too, but it wasn’t from the movie, because, honestly, it wasn’t that scary. But still, there was a fluttering in his chest and he could feel his face getting warm, and he didn’t fucking know why. He was grateful for how dark theaters are.  


The scene passed, but Pete didn’t move his head, not much anyway. He just sort of twisted so he could see the movie again, but was still carefully tucked against Mikey’s side. Mikey wondered if the armrest between them was digging into Pete’s side. It probably wasn’t comfortable, and he thought to move it, but then maybe Pete wouldn’t lay his head down again.  


Mikey tried his best to pay attention to the movie, but Pete kept tensing up and hiding his face in the collar of Mikey’s jacket. His hair smelled like cinnamon, like how you’d expect Old Spice to actually smell, how you wish it smelled. It was distracting, but not exactly in the worst way, like the movie just didn’t matter anymore. He wiggled his arm out from the place it was wedged between his body and the armrest, and wrapped it around Pete’s shoulder. Pete immediately melted into the touch. Something in Mikey’s chest melted too.

\-----

Pete didn’t move for a few minutes after the movie ended. Even when the lights turned back on in the theater, it took Mikey a few seconds to remove his arm from Pete’s back. Like if either of them moved too fast the illusion would disappear. Mikey didn’t know exactly what the illusion was, but there was something there that felt safe and comfortable, and he didn’t want that to go away. But it had to, because the usher was coming in to clean and he was giving Pete and Mikey dirty looks.  


Pete stood first, leaving a cold spot on Mikey’s neck where his face once laid. Eventually, reluctantly, Mikey followed.  


“That was so good!” Pete exclaimed once they were out in the lobby.  


Mikey wasn’t sure how Pete could say it was good, since he hid during the ‘scary’ scenes, which made up most of the movie. “Yeah,” Mikey agreed anyway. His phone vibrated in his pocket, he finally pulled it out and flipped it open. The envelope icon on the screen displayed “16 new messages!” He started clicking them open.  


“Do you want to-” Pete began to ask, but Mikey cut him off.  


“I have to go home.” All the messages were from Gerard.  


Pete paused for a moment before asking, “Is everything okay?”  


Mikey frowned down at his phone, the most recent message was short. ‘Mikey, plz just let me know if ur ok’. He looked back up at Pete, “Yeah, I’m fine, It’s just my brother. I’m usually home right after work and it’s,” he glanced down at the clock on his phone, “almost 7.”  


“Is he okay?”  


“Yeah,” Mikey moved to the bottom and started reading them in order. The first was just a simple ‘hey, r u good?’ Mikey kept talking as he read. “I mean,” next message. “Probably.” Next message. From Gerard ‘Mikes, what’s goin on?’  


“You don’t seem very sure.” Pete added softly.  


Next message. “I’m not,” He said candidly, without even thinking. Next message. “I’m sorry, he just, never texts this much.” Next message.  


“You can go, man, it’s okay.” Pete put his hand gently on Mikey’s shoulder. It felt nice.  


“Yeah,” His voice sounded distant. Next message. He looked up at Pete. “I’m worried.” From Gerard ‘I’m not feeling gr8.’  


“C’mon, let’s go.” Pete used the hand already on Mikey’s arm to steer him towards their parking lot.  


From Gerard ‘eta?’  


From Gerard ‘I fukd up.’  


From Gerard ‘’mm homea ‘lone.’  


From Gerard ‘ttts bad.’  


Mikey was walking faster without even meaning to, he was lucky to have Pete there, making sure he didn’t run into any of the kiosks.  


From Gerard ‘mm srry.’ There was an hour gap between that and the next text. ‘I ddnt meen 2 scare u.’ Then five minutes later, ‘come home wen u can.’  


They were in the parking lot. Mikey didn’t remember getting there.  


“Are you okay to drive?” Pete asked. His hand still on Mikey’s arm.  


“Yeah, I’m good,” Mikey said quietly and pulled away.


	3. Chapter 3

“Gee?” Mikey called as soon as he had the door to his house open. “Is everything okay?” There was no answer. He shook his head. The kitchen was empty, save a few bottle caps left on the table next to the ashtray, two stubbed out cigarettes sat in the little pile of ash.  


“Gerard?” Mikey descended the stairs into the basement, it was dim, the only light coming from the cracked door of the bathroom. He followed the light. There Gerard was, laying on the hard tile floor, a towel under his head, a washcloth over his eyes. “What happened?”  


“Whaddya think?” Gerard asked, voice quiet and words slurred.  


Mikey slid onto the floor next to his brother, his back against the wall. “Nothing good.” He sighed. “Are you okay?”  


“I’ll get better.”  


“Are you okay right now?” Mikey’s chest hurt. Not in the fluttery way it felt when he was with Pete, it felt deep and hollow. He rubbed his eyes under his glasses.  


“Yeah,” Gerard groaned.  


“Let’s get you to your bed.” Mikey rubbed his shoulder before slowly taking away the washcloth. His forehead was covered in a sheen of sweat, paler than usual, his eyes closed against the light.  


“Mmkay.” Gerard let Mikey help him up, let Mikey support his weight as they made the ten foot journey to Gerard’s bed. He even let Mikey pull the Star Wars blanket up over his shoulders.  


“Have you eaten anything today?”  


“Maybe?” From the tone of Gerard’s voice, Mikey knew that actually meant no.  


“I’ll make you some toast.” Mikey patted Gerard’s shoulder and returned back up the stairs to the kitchen. He threw away the bottle caps and wiped down the table before sitting down on one of the wooden chairs. Just for a minute, he needed to think and breathe and to allow himself to be upset, then he could make the fucking toast. He wanted to scream, not because he was mad at Gerard, he was never mad at Gerard, he was mad because he didn’t know what to do or how to help. His phone buzzed and he knew it was Pete, probably asking if he got home alright and if Gerard was okay. But he couldn’t respond right now because if he did, he’d inevitably dump all his feelings on Pete.  


He’d grown to hate the smell of toast. It wasn’t that it smelled bad, it was just what he ended up making for Gerard everytime he got sick from drinking too much, and now the smell always reminded him of that. His brother sweaty and cold, shaking on the bathroom floor. He spread the butter slowly over the bread, trying not to get crumbs on the butter dish because his mom hated that. Mikey leaned over, bracing his elbows on the counter, just staring out the window. This wasn’t his fault, he knew that, but he still felt guilty, because maybe if he had been home, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. “Fuck,” He rubbed under his glasses again, this time his fingers came back wet with tears. “God fucking dammit.” He hated crying, hated it, he hated feeling helpless and small and like there was nothing he could do. Because either his parents didn’t notice, or if they did, didn’t think it was a problem. Because what the hell was he supposed to do? Since no answer came to him, he picked up the stupid plate with the stupid toast and carried it down the stupid fucking stairs.  


“Hey,” Mikey said quietly and nudged Gerard’s shoulder.  


Gerard stirred a sat up a little in bed, just enough that he could take the plate and set it on his stomach. “Thanks,” He took a small bite off the corner of one of the slices of toast.  


“I’m sorry I didn’t answer my phone,” He said quietly as he sat at the end of Gerard’s bed.  


“S’okay,” Gerard took another bite. “I didn’t- I shouldn’t’ve- I’m sorry too.”  


“Yeah,” Mikey patted Gerard’s leg over the blanket. “I’ll make sure to check it better.” Next time, he added mentally, because there would always be a next time, no matter how much Gerard said there wouldn’t.  


“Were you busy?”  


“I just got pretzels and saw a movie with Pete,” Mikey shrugged. “It was a spur of the moment thing.” He gingerly touched his new earrings.  


“M’sorry again,” Gerard looked down at his toast and back up at Mikey. “You don’t have to stay, I’m feeling better, probably gonna sleep after I’m done.”  


“Yeah, okay.” He stood up to go.  


“Did you have a good time?”  


“Hmm?” Mikey turned back around.  


“With Pete. At the movie?” Gerard asked.  


His chest fluttered. He almost, almost cracked a smile. “Yeah.”

\-----

Once Mikey was back in his room he finally decided to check his phone. Sure enough, it was a text from Pete, ‘u ok?’  


He flopped down on his bed and took a deep breath. He took off his glasses and wiped them on the hem of his shirt. He put them back on. He took off his beanie and threw it on his night stand. He waited another five minutes before he responded. ‘not rly…’  


From Pete ‘wat hppned?’  


‘Long story.’  


A second after he sent the message Mikey’s phone rang. “Hey?”  


Pete’s voice came through the other side. “You said it was a long story, probably easier to say out loud than to try and text it all.”  


“It’s- I don’t know.” Mikey sighed. “I don’t feel right talking about it, like I’m not allowed to be upset or something.”  


“They’re your emotions, man.”  


And maybe that was the hard part. Mikey had spent the better part of his life pushing down all of his emotions. Because his parents were too busy, and Gerard had his own shit going on, and all the girls he had around thought he was only good for sex. So when he was having days like this, where he was hurt and pissed and angry, he always kept it to himself. “I love my brother, a lot, but he- he’s got a lot of problems.” The words were just spilling out like he couldn’t control it. Maybe he couldn’t, this was the first time he remembered someone actually telling him to open up. “He was drunk, lying on the bathroom floor throwing up drunk, and that’s why he texted me so much, he was scared, wanted me to come home. And I would do anything for him, really, but it’s not fair, you know? That it’s all on me, it’s always been all on me. And the worst part is, is just how much I want to fucking help and I don’t know what to do. I’m completely fucking powerless and and I hate it. I hate that he does this, because I would do anything to help, to fix everything, and I can’t fucking do anything.”  


He was crying again, he hated that too. He hated a lot of things today. Pete was not one of those things.  


“If I’d have known, I wouldn’t have suggested the movie,” Pete started slowly, and that just made Mikey feel worse.  


“No, fuck, I had a good time. I should have checked my phone, I will next time if-”  


“Next time?” Pete cut in softly.  


“Yeah…” Mikey looked at the singular picture he had of him and Gerard on his wall. “It’s- this happens kind of often.”  


“Mikey…” Pete tried again. “It’s not your job.”  


“I know… kinda,” Mikey sighed. “But I also can’t not do anything, so it just kind of… is.”  


“Well then, next time we’ll do something where you can be on your phone if you need to.” Mikey could hear the smile in Pete’s voice. It made one start to form on his own face.  


“Yeah, next time.” Never in Mikey’s life had talking to someone felt easy, simple even, but here he was, not pissed at being on the phone, actually happy to talk to the person on the other side. Someone he was excited to make plans with. Someone who didn’t make him dread the idea of ‘next time we hang out.’  


“Is it gonna be okay?” Pete asked, quietly.  


“It is,” Mikey nodded to himself, “like I said, this has happened before, more times than I’d like to think. But, you know, I know he’s trying, so-”  


“That’s good, but that’s not what I meant.” Pete cleared his throat. “I meant more, are you gonna be okay? This is a lot to put on yourself.”  


Mikey paused again, not having an answer to a question he was so seldom asked. “I think so,” He looked at the clock, just past 8. “I’m fine for the night. I work a night shift tomorrow, so at least I can sleep in.”  


“Aww, I work in the morning,” Pete whined. “I guess I won’t see you tomorrow, then. We can keep talking though, I’m not tired yet.”  


“Yeah, that would be nice.” Mikey smiled to himself. This was usually the point where he’d try and end the conversation, but he didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts right now. So instead he started asking Pete about anything he could think of, finally setting him off on a rant about some local band, just so he could listen to Pete talk. He didn’t end the call until 1 a.m.. 

\-----

Mikey yawned for the second time since clocking in five minutes ago. Even after he was off the phone with Pete, he couldn’t fall asleep, and once he did, it was restless.  


“You good, man?” His coworker Frank poked him in the side.  


Mikey rolled his eyes. “Yeah, just tired.” Him and Frank were pretty good friends, they had been for years even before they started working together. But ever since Frank met Gerard, he wouldn’t shut up about him, no matter how much Gerard made it seem like he wasn’t interested. And sometimes, actually most of the time, Mikey didn’t like being reduced to just an extension of his brother. Especially when the person doing it was his friend first.  


“Because Gerard texted me yesterday and asked me if I knew where you were.” Frank leaned against the counter.  


“Yeah, really, I’m fine. I was hanging out with a friend.” Mikey replied.  


“Who?”  


He wasn’t exactly sure why it mattered who he was hanging out with, but it didn’t hurt to tell Frank either. “Pete, he works at Claire’s.”  


“The really annoying one? Talks all the time?” Frank squinted out the door, like looking at the bright pink emanating from Claire’s would hold the answers.  


“He’s not annoying.” Mikey cut in, almost defensively. Almost. Even if Pete did talk all the time, Mikey didn’t find it all that annoying.  


“Uh-huh,” Frank laughed.  


“And what right do you have to call anyone annoying? Have you met yourself?” It sounded harsh, but Mikey was laughing too. A little. To himself.  


Frank was quiet for a few minutes, then started his original conversation back up. “Gee sounded a little off though, really. Is he-” Frank started, his face suddenly sober.  


Mikey didn’t care to hear the rest of the question, and he really didn’t care to tell Frank about his night last night. He cut Frank off. “He’s fine. I’m fine. Everything’s fucking fine, Frank. Just drop it.”  


“Dude,” Frank frowned at Mikey. “What the fuck? I was just worried.”  


“Yeah, well, you don’t need to be.” Mikey shook his head.  


“I get that we work at Hot Topic, but you don’t need to be so fucking emo.” Frank said. It was half joking, but there was a bitter edge to it that pissed Mikey off even more.  


“You know what? Fuck you.” Mikey ran a hand through his hair and pushed past Frank to go to the back room. He wasn’t mad at Frank, not really. He was mad at Gerard. Frank was just there and being a little shit, which was normal for him, but Mikey couldn’t deal with it right now. And he still had the whole rest of his shift in front of him. 

\-----

The door to the back room creaked open fifteen minutes later after Mikey hadn’t come back out. “Mikey?” Frank asked quietly. He found Mikey sitting on the floor, long legs folded against his chest, sorting pins that didn’t need sorting.  


“What.” Mikey said, voice flat. He didn’t look up from the pins.  


“I’m sorry if I was kinda being a dick.” Frank sat on the stool next to Mikey.  


“You were.”  


“I know, man, Fuck. Just let me apologize.” Frank shook his head and tried again. “If you’re going through shit, you don’t have to tell me what’s going on, but you’re my friend. I still care about you.”  


Mikey nodded and finally looked up at Frank. “Thanks,” He said, and he actually meant it. The anger started to wear off a bit. “Last night wasn’t great.”  


“Gee?”  


“Yeah.”  


Frank sighed. “If you need to, you can just work in the back for the rest of the night, I can cover the front end.”  


Frank hated working with customers, Mikey knew this, so him offering to do it for the entire shift was a pretty big deal. “That would be good.”  


“Alright,” Frank patted Mikey on his shoulder and stood. He knew well enough when Mikey just wanted to be left alone, now was one of those times. He shut the door quietly behind him on his way back out to the register.  


Maybe, Mikey thought, Frank was actually still a good friend. 

\-----

Mikey would be lying if he said he didn’t spend most of that shift on his phone texting Pete. Currently Pete seemed to be the only thing that could get Mikey out of his own mind. It was a totally new feeling, talking to someone that could honestly talk for hours about anything, and that didn’t get mad when Mikey didn’t have as much to say.  


Frank came to the back every now and then, sometimes to grab something he needed, sometimes to just check on Mikey, but he never said shit about Mikey being on his phone. Probably because Frank was also on his phone at the register, but it was still nice not to feel like he had to defend himself. He actually thought there was a chance he was going to end up having an alright day after all. Something just had to ruin it.  


“Mikes?” Frank peaked into the back room at 10:03, right after the mall closed.  


Mikey pushed a box back up on a shelf and turned to Frank. “Yeah?” He hated the look Frank had on his face, all worried and flustered. It couldn’t mean anything good.  


“I’m sorry, but uhh,” Frank held up his phone like that was supposed to mean anything. “I just, I’m worried about-”  


“What.” Mikey cut him off, a growing feeling of concern making him too impatient to wait for Frank to get to the point. “What’s going on?”  


“He told me not to tell you, but Gerard just texted me.” Frank looked down suddenly, like he couldn’t face Mikey anymore. “He asked me to come pick him up, but it was all misspelled and shit. I can’t tell where he is.”  


Mikey ripped the phone out of Frank’s hand faster than he meant to. He squinted, like that would help him read the butchered text better. It took him a few minutes, but it clicked. “You know where we live?”  


Frank frowned. “Yeah?”  


“You know the little river that runs through the woods about a mile east?” Mikey gave the phone back to Frank. “Gee goes there to be alone sometimes, I think- Sometimes he goes to drink there too, when he wants to hide it from mom.”  


“Okay, yeah, I know the place.” Frank was nodding rapidly. “Do you think you should come with?”  


“No.” Mikey said quickly, “He told you not to tell me, he probably feels bad about last night, I don’t know. Just, don’t let him know you told me.”  


“Okay,” Frank was nodding again. “I already counted down the registers. We can head out now.”  


“Yeah, okay.” Mikey grabbed his coat.  


They clocked out together, and Mikey made sure to lock the grate behind them. Tonight the walk through the closed mall didn’t feel as peaceful as usual. It was all cold and sinister and Mikey wanted so bad to both be home and as far away from home as possible at the same time.  


There was a chill in the air outside, and Frank all but ran to his car as soon as they were out the doors. He made one quick glance back at Mikey before he slid into the driver's seat and raced out of the parking lot. Mikey had no desire to move that fast, he didn’t want to do anything at all right now. If everything just stopped right this second, he’d probably be fine with that. He took out his phone to see if Gerard had texted him too, he hadn’t, there was only a message from Pete. Mikey dialed Pete’s number and pressed his phone to his ear.  


“Hey?” Pete picked up almost immediately. “Are you okay?”  


There were so many lies that Mikey was used to telling to answer that question, but he didn’t even have the energy for that right now. “No.” He said simply.  


“What’s wrong? Where are you?”  


“I just got off work, I’m in the mall parking lot still.” Mikey looked down at his feet, planted firmly on the black asphalt.  


“I’ll be there in five, I don’t live too far away.” Pete said urgently, and then, for some reason, hung up before Mikey could protest.

\-----

It took him six minutes to get there, Mikey was watching the little clock on his phone the whole time.  


“Hey,” Pete said quietly as he lowered himself onto the curb next to where Mikey had taken up residency. It was dim, they were only lit by the amber lights over the parking lot, and if Pete noticed Mikey was crying, he didn’t say anything.  


“Hey,” Mikey returned.  


“What happened?” Pete set his hand carefully on Mikey’s shoulder. He didn’t brush Pete off.  


“It’s just, my brother again. It’s- He’ll be fine. Frank is going to get him, they’re friends. I just couldn’t be home right now, and I didn’t know where else to go.” And there must have been something in the air tonight, because something brave took hold of Mikey, and he took Pete’s hand off his shoulder and into his own.  


“I know someplace.” Even in the dim light, Mikey could see Pete’s smile. “It’s not far, c’mon.”  


Pete helped Mikey up from the curb and led him around the side of the mall, to the back where the movie theater was. There was a little access door that was slightly ajar, and Mikey realized this was definitely not the first time Pete had done this. The door opened into a small stairwell that only went up. Pete didn’t hesitate at all as he pulled Mikey along with him up the stairs. It was dark, and Mikey had to look down not to trip over his own feet, but eventually they reached another door that Pete opened slowly. It took Mikey a minute to realize where they were, but as his eyes adjusted to the light, he found that Pete had taken him up onto the roof of the mall.  


“Why-?” Mikey started to ask, but Pete just kept pulling him along until they reached an edge that overlooked the Hudson river. A perfect view of New York just past. “Oh.”  


“When I was really depressed,” Pete started once they were seated on the black rubber roof. “One of the guys that works at the theater showed me how to get up here, said it was where he came to think. I started doing that too.”  


“It’s beautiful.”  


“Yeah,” Pete agreed, then started digging for something in his jacket pocket. A few moments later he pulled out a small box and a lighter. He shook one out of the pack and held it out for Mikey.  


“I don’t really smoke,” Mikey said as he took the cigarette and brought it between his lips. He didn’t smoke… Often. Mikey leaned forward a little, as Pete brought the lighter up and held it to the end of Mikey’s cigarette. An oddly intimate gesture that made Mikey look down at his feet.  


Pete lit one for himself. “Neither do I.”  


He could feel Pete watching him, so Mikey looked up. “Hmm?” He asked, not removing the cigarette from his mouth.  


“Nothing…” Pete smirked.  


“Sure,” Mikey smirked back. There was a tug in his chest at the way Pete was looking at him. He had to look away again or he thought he might throw up.  


They smoked together in silence for a bit, but then Mikey’s cigarette was down to the filter, and he had to stub it out. Now there was nothing to do but turn back to Pete. The sight he got took his breath away like nothing ever had before. Pete’s profile was illuminated by the light of New York reflected off the Hudson. He felt weird thinking it, but Pete was beautiful, and right now, this was the best view Mikey had all night. So when Pete turned to Mikey and asked, “What are you making that face for?” Mikey didn’t have an answer. Because how do you say ‘I never had a moment with someone like this in my entire life.’ That I’ve never been more than a quick lay to someone. That no one has ever taken me to their favorite place. That no one has ever looked so good in the moonlight, and that no one has ever looked at me the way you are right now?  


So instead of giving an answer, Mikey did the first thing his brain told him to do, no thinking. It happened quicker than he had time to think about. A hand on Pete’s Cheek. Another on his shoulder. The feeling of Pete’s hair on Mikey’s fingertips. The last breath he took before the space between them was closed, and Mikey’s lips met Pete’s. And for a second, he was scared, scared that he just fucked up, and ruined whatever friendship they were ever going to have. But then Pete was holding him back, and now he was leaning into Mikey’s touch, and the air was cold outside, but where their bodies met it was warm and safe. They separated, but only for a second, just long enough for Pete to breath out the word, “yeah,” in a sort of far away tone, and then they were pressed together again, slow and gentle, yet so fucking needy.  


This was something new. It was scary and bright, but it was something that was his. Just his and Pete’s and no one else's. In the cool night air, overlooking the Hudson, on top of the mall he’d been going to his whole life, Mikey felt alive for the first time in years.


	4. Chapter 4

Frank’s car was still parked outside Mikey’s house when he got home that night. Which was a relief because it meant Gerard was safe and home and didn’t spend the rest of the night freaking out about Mikey not being there. It meant too, that he wouldn’t have to answer any of Gerard’s questions, and there were a lot of questions he didn’t have answers to at the moment. He absently remembered that he hadn’t eaten dinner yet, so his first stop was the kitchen.

What Mikey wasn’t prepared to find was Gerard and Frank sitting at the kitchen table, sharing french fries and smoking cigarettes. The clock on the wall proudly displayed in blocky red numbers, 12:37.

“Hey!” Frank waved and picked up the mcdonalds bag from the table, holding it out to Mikey. “We thought you’d be home sooner, so we got you food too.”

“It’s probably cold now,” Gerard frowned at the bag.

Mikey took it anyway. Food was food, cold or not. “Thanks.” He sat down at the table. He was a little surprised by just how fine Gerard seemed to be at the moment. “You good?” He asked his brother as he took a fry out of the brown paper bag.

“Yeah,” Gerard said slowly. It took him a moment to realize Frank had probably told Mikey about his text. “Oh shit, I’m sorry Mikey. I was- I wasn’t drunk again, I swear. Just hungover, and I got sick in the woods. I’m fine, Frankie came and got me, we got food, I feel better.” 

“Okay,” Mikey pulled the french fry container out the bag so it would be easier to get them. At this point he was just waiting for one of them to ask where he’d been.

It took a while, longer than expected, between conversations about work and music and TV, but Frank finally asked, “So, what took you so long getting back from work?”

Mikey struggled to think of a lie even though he’d had plenty of time to think of one. Usually he would just say he had to stay late at work for some fucking reason, but him and Frank left together tonight. “I, uhh, just went for a drive. To clear my head and shit.” 

“Okay, Mikes,” Gerard said as he got up to throw away the now empty food wrappers. He ruffled Mikey’s hair as he passed behind him. “Your hair smells like cinnamon.” 

Mikey couldn’t think of a good excuse for that. He just said, “At least it’s clean,” with a shrug and a sideways glance at his brother. Frank was giving him a weird look, so he pulled out his phone before Frank could say anything. There was a text from Pete. ‘Get home safe???’

‘Yeah’ Mikey texted back, and before Pete could reply, sent another saying ‘thnk u, 4 everything 2nite’ 

For the rest of the night before Mikey went to bed, he listened to Frank and Gerard talk about nothing in particular. He snuck out his phone every few minutes to text Pete, and maybe shit was looking up for once.

\-----

Of course the next week of work sucked. Nothing specifically bad happened, but him and Pete worked completely different shifts so they only saw each other in passing and only really conversed through text. But today was Saturday, and him and Pete both worked closing shifts and Mikey finally decided they needed to talk tonight, because they hadn’t talked at all about what happened on the roof that night. He didn’t know exactly what it was they had to talk about, but it seemed like something they had to do. What he would say he also didn’t know.

Mikey looked through the exit to watch Pete as he straightened up the headbands on the back wall. His shirt was riding up and Mikey caught a glimpse of another tattoo. He wondered how many more there were hidden under his clothes. Then he shook his head quickly because now was not the time for that mental image, as pretty as it was.  _ Definitely not the time _ . 

It was almost closing time and the store was completely empty, all Mikey had left to do was count down the registers and lock up. It usually took him ten minutes at most, but that didn’t account for the fact he couldn’t stop stealing glances at Pete every few seconds. It was all Pete’s fault, not Mikey’s at all. It was the look that Pete had on his face while he was counting down the register, eyebrows slightly lowered, tongue just barely sticking out from between his lips. It was, for lack of a better word,  _ fucking adorable _ . 

All of that being said, Mikey still finished closing up before Pete, and was left standing awkwardly outside the Hot Topic obviously waiting for Pete but trying his best to look nonchalant. As Pete got to the end of his closing shit, Mikey busied himself on his phone to make it seem like he hadn’t been waiting, just happened to stand there to use his phone. 

If Pete noticed that Mikey had been waiting, he didn’t let Mikey know, because as soon as his door was locked he yelled over to Mikey, “Hey! You’re still here, I thought you’d’ve been gone by now.”

“Yeah,” Mikey walked over to him, “I just had some extra work to do tonight.” A lie. “I’ve only been done for a minute, was just checking texts.” A more obvious lie, but Pete didn’t say anything. 

“Dude, I get that. There was a whole sign change I had to do by myself tonight.” Pete shook his head. His stupid straight hair looked really good today. Mikey thought Pete’s eyes looked really pretty tonight too, something about the way the light hit them when he had to angle his gaze up to look at Mikey. 

Mikey, of course, didn’t tell Pete either of those thoughts. They were his to keep rattling around in his head every day. They were also not the only things Mikey didn’t tell Pete while they were talking on the way to their cars. Mikey barely talked at all, because all his thoughts were centered around one thing. The way Pete licked his lips before smile, the way his whole face just seemed to light up, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners and just how much it made them sparkle. Most of all, Mikey couldn’t stop thinking about them kissing earlier that week, and how fucking much he wanted to do it  _ right now _ . He didn’t. He opened every door for Pete that they came to though, and he thought maybe that conveyed the same message. 

Luckily for Mikey, Pete loved to talk, and filled the space enough for the both of them. “Do you think I should cut my hair?” Pete asked as they stepped off the sidewalk and into the parking lot.

Mikey looked sideways at Pete, his bangs, or what were probably meant to be bangs months ago, were covering one of his eyes. He tucked the hair behind Pete’s ear. “I like it like this.” 

“Yeah?” Pete’s voice had gone soft in a way it barely ever was. All wistful and breathy and shit.  _ Fuck _ , not kissing him was getting harder by the second. 

“It suits you.” Mikey replied, voice equally soft. 

God must have been looking down on Mikey tonight, because he didn’t have to stop himself anymore, because it was Pete that kissed him first. Up on his tiptoes, hands braced on Mikey’s chest to keep his balance. And Mikey’s hand was still on Pete cheek, so he brushed his thumb over the stubble that was beginning to form there. 

“Ummm,” Pete pulled away shortly after. He rocked back and forth nervously on his heels. “Should we- should we maybe talk about this?”

“Maybe?” If Mikey was being honest, he’d never had the ‘what are we?’ talk before, he didn’t know how it was supposed to go. He also had no idea what  _ they were _ . Given that they’d been talking for less than two weeks, and have only even kissed once- twice now.

“Well,” Pete started, because of course he’d be the one leading the conversation. “I don’t know… I like spending time with you.” 

“Yeah,” Mikey agreed. It kind of felt stupid, standing out by their cars talking like this. He felt like a teenager talking to their first girlfriend after school. But it wasn’t any of that at all, because he was in his twenties and Pete wasn’t a girl and they were in their work parking lot. Mikey had been wanting to talk about it all week, and now that he was here, he wanted to be doing absolutely anything else. The top of the ‘anything else’ list was kissing Pete again, which was, ironically, something he could do right now. So he did. He pulled Pete against him, this time with Pete fully enveloped in his arms. Definitely only because it was at night in April and it was chilly and not at all because he liked the way he could feel the rise and fall of Pete’s chest. 

Pete was smiling when Mikey finally leaned back. “I like that too.” He laughed, just a little too breathy. 

Of all the things that usually made up the people MIkey slept with, Pete was none of those things. He was bright and bubbly and smelled like cinnamon and tasted like home. Even more than that, they hadn’t even slept together. And Mikey decided then and there that he would do whatever he could to not fuck up whatever this was, even if he didn’t know what it was quite yet. 

\-----

For the next few weeks Mikey made a mental note of every time they kissed. In the food court. In the food court bathroom. On the roof. In the parking lot. In Mikey’s car. In  _ Pete’s _ car. On the roof again. In the Hot Topic right before they opened. In the Claire’s right after they closed. Back behind the dumpsters. In line for Starbucks. 

It was the first of May, it was Saturday, and the mall had just closed. 

“Hey,” Pete stood up from where he’d been waiting for Mikey to finish closing. “God, that took forever.” He rolled his eyes.

“Sorry,” Mikey smirked. It was only ten after ten, Pete just closed quickly for once. 

“So,” Pete nudged Mikey.

“Hmm?” 

“Do you have some time tonight?” Pete asked. He was doing that nervous thing where he pulled the sleeves of his hoodie down over his hands.

“Yeah,” Mikey smirked again. “What’re you thinking?”

“C’mon,” Pete reached down and held Mikey’s hand. It always felt weirdly intimate to Mikey, like no one had ever done it before, because, no one else really ever had. But with Pete, it had become commonplace. 

The door opened to the roof, and for a second Mikey was confused as to why Pete was acting like he was taking them to a whole new place. But then he saw it, the little blanket laid out, the backpack holding it down. 

“What?” Mikey frowned.

Pete forced Mikey to sit down before he said anything. “It’s- fuck, okay it’s stupid but. Today is more or less a month after we first started talking.” Pete pulled a cheap bottle of wine out of the backpack. “I don’t know, I thought- Maybe we could like, commemorate it or some shit.” It was the least sure of himself Mikey had ever seen Pete. 

“I-” Mikey tried, but he couldn’t find the words. There was nothing to say to express exactly how he felt at this moment. Pete was annoying and kind of dumb and loud and talked way too much. Pete was, above all else, the best thing in Mikey’s life. 

“I’m sorry,” Pete shook his head when Mikey was quiet for just a little too long. “This was, It’s-”

“Amazing.” Mikey finished for Pete, not letting him use whatever critical word he was going to use himself. “Pete, no one has ever- This is amazing.”

“Yeah, well,” Pete shrugged, trying to hide the blush rising on his cheeks. “Meeting you is something to celebrate.”

Even though Mikey did not agree with that statement, he did agree with the inverse: Meeting  _ Pete _ was something to celebrate. He kept that thought to himself though, like so many other thoughts tonight.

The wine was cheap, but it did its job, and soon enough they were both giggling like idiots over absolutely nothing in particular. Sharing stories just to make the other laugh. 

“Y’know,” Pete laughed. He was laying on his back now, his head resting in Mikey’s lap. He was staring up at Mikey lazily. He liked the way Mikey’s jaw looked when he laughed. “I don’t like spending time with anyone the way I like spending time with you.”

A smile pulled at the corner of Mikey’s lips. “Yeah?” He asked softly, even though he didn’t expect an answer.

Pete gave him an answer anyway. “Yeah, you’re easy to be around. It doesn’t hurt that you’re so pretty.”

This time Mikey let himself actually smile. He hummed in affirmation as he brushed Pete’s hair off his face. It was tousled and messy and there were little waves near the roots that Pete probably couldn’t get with his straightener. “You’re pretty too.” He shimmied out from under Pete so they could be laying down next to each other. If he squinted a little, he could see the stars just past the glow rising up from the city. He wished he could see them better, he said that. “I wish we could see the stars better. Turn off the lights of the city or something.”

“Just for a bit.” Pete agreed absently. He was quiet for a bit before adding. “I’d pull the stars down for you.”

“Hmm?” Mikey turned his head to face Pete.

“For you, if it’d make you smile.” Pete was still looking at the sky like it was the most amazing thing. Mikey was looking at Pete the same way. 

“I don’t-” Mikey started, but he didn’t know where he was going, so he stopped.

“They sparkle like your eyes,” Pete said, like he was writing in a journal, spilling his thoughts, but he wasn’t, he was saying them out loud, just for Mikey to hear. “Except, the city lights would never be able to obscure light in your eyes like it does to the stars.” 

And really, fuck Pete for that. Because it made Mikey feel like he was just punched in the stomach and he didn’t know what to do with feelings like the ones Pete was drawing out of him. He wished he could say something as  _ fucking _ poetic as what Pete just said, but he wasn’t poetic. He’s just Mikey. But damn it if he wasn’t going to try. “You wouldn’t have to.”

“What’s that?” Pete lolled his head to the side to look at Mikey. Their faces only inches apart.

“The stars,” Mikey started, only a slight shake in his voice. “You don’t have to pull them down, because they’re already trapped in your eyes.”

“Oh, fuck you Mikey Way.” Pete murmured. It was something low and breathy and Mikey could feel the words on his skin as Pete moved forward to kiss him.

Mikey didn’t remember exactly how it happened, but somehow he ended up on top of Pete. And Pete had his hands fisted in Mikey’s jacket like it was the only thing keeping him tether to that roof. Like it was the only thing keeping Mikey there. But Mikey wasn’t going anywhere, at least not far. They could only stay like that for so long before hands started traveling, touching any bit of bare skin they could find under jackets and between shirt collars. Breathing getting quicker and movements getting more desperate until they forget about the entire world that wasn’t right here and now.

They might have even forgotten that they were on a roof if the first drops of rain didn’t start falling. 

“Fuck,” Pete gasped when a particularily rude raindrop landed in his eye.

“Yeah,” Mikey agreed and slid off to the side. He watched as Pete shook his head, only succeeding in displaying just how messed up his hair was. The rain chose then to start coming down harder. “Fuck.”

If the moment was ruined, Pete didn’t seem that bothered, because he gathered up the blanket and the backpack as quick as possible, took Mikey’s hand, and started running for the stairwell. By the time they came out at the ground level, they were both laughing like idiots. Like they were teenagers that snuck out for the first time, but Mikey was sure he didn’t remember sneaking out ever being this much fun.

Their cars were the only ones left in the parking lot, parked right next to each other. Pete got his stuff tucked away back in the trunk of his car, and when he turned around, Mikey could still see the blush high in his cheeks. He went to kiss him goodbye, but as soon as they were touching, he knew he wasn’t ready for goodbye just yet. 

The rest of the night was a blur. Mikey taking Pete’s hands. Them getting into the backseat of Mikey’s car together. Turning on the heat. Cold hands taking off clothes and running over warm bodies. Mouths trailing over newly exposed skin. Hands fisted in damp hair. Breathy gasps and expletives left to hang in the air. Excitement. Release. Finality. And then Pete had to go home, so this time when they both got out of the back of Mikey’s car, more disheveled than before, it actually was a kiss goodbye. 

It wasn’t until Mikey was driving home, the adrenaline rubbing off, that the hot rush of guilt swept over him. He couldn’t help feeling like he fell back into a bad memory, a version of himself that didn’t matter as much. He felt like he left the last thing keeping Pete around in the backseat of his car. Because now that Pete got that, he wouldn’t need to pretend that he actually enjoyed hanging out with Mikey anymore. He couldn’t expect anyone to want anything else from him. He knew what he was good for.  _ Nothing more than a quick lay _ .


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends, I'm sorry this chapter is late. I've been going through some stuff and wasn't able to write as much this past week. But here it is! 
> 
> follow me on twitter @heidi_rosaleigh

45 minutes under the hot spray of the shower and Mikey still wasn’t feeling any better. It was a dirty feeling that was trapped under his skin that no amount of  _ Irish Spring _ would be able to wash away. He turned off the water and toweled off slowly. 

What should have been a sweet, almost romantic night, turned so quickly into a night of regrets. And for what? Mikey couldn’t know what Pete was thinking right now. He couldn’t know if Pete was feeling the same as Mikey. He couldn’t know if Pete was ready to drop Mikey now that he got his dick sucked. Mikey felt like he didn’t know anything anymore. So here he was, sitting almost naked on his bed, wrapped in a towel, dripping wet, not knowing what to do with his hands. His fingers reached instinctively to his phone. Maybe it was a bad idea, but he spent the past hour not knowing anything, and he was sick of it. Speed dial number 5. Press the phone to his ear. It rings three times.

“Hello?” Pete answered, a question in his tone. 

If 99% of the time, Mikey chickened out, didn’t say how he felt, kept his feelings bottled up, this was the 1%. “Hi. Fuck,” Mikey swore under his breath before he let the tirade free. “I just need to say something right now, and I really need you to listen. I like you, a lot, and I don’t just want to be a hookup. I don’t know what I want, but I know I want something more than sex. I don’t know what you’re thinking right now, but I don’t want to regret this, or you, or anything really, and I guess if you just want sex, I’d probably take that, because I really like being around you, but that’s not what I want. I like holding hands, and kissing, and getting soft pretzels, and I’ve never had that before, but I really like having that, ya know, with you.”

“Mikey…” Pete started slowly, but Mikey cut him off.

“I don’t know what you’re going to say, and I really fucking hope I didn’t just ruin everything, but fuck man, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. So, I guess, if you just wanna fuck, tell me that now, because this is the first time I’ve ever felt like this and I don’t want to just fuck anymore, not with you. I want something, more?”

“Mikey.” Pete said more sharply this time. He took one shuddering deep breath before adding, “I want that too. It’s- Mikey- It’s never been just sex. Not with you.”

“Really?” Mikey’s voice was small. He dropped back onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling. 

“Yes, really. Mikey, did I make you feel like that? Did I do something?” Mikey could hear the frown in Pete’s voice.

“No, I-” Mikey paused, slightly embarrassed. “You didn’t do anything. This is just… new for me. No one has ever seen me as more than an easy fuck before. I’m not used to it not being that way.”

“It’s not that way at all.” Pete said softly. 

Mikey was quiet for a moment. “Okay, yeah, okay,” He nodded. “I’m gonna go now, I need to get dressed, and I think eat dinner? I just- needed to say this.”

“Okay, Mikey Way.” Pete laughed softly. “I’ll see you Monday. Good night.”

“Yeah, see you Monday. G’night.” Mikey hung up, but the smile was still on his face as he got dressed and made his way downstairs. 

\-----

Never in his life had Mikey been so happy to be at work on a Monday morning. Pete seemed to be feeling the same way, because he was especially bouncy walking around the store. 

‘Hey,’ Mikey texted Pete when there was no one in the store.

Pete glanced up at Mikey and then back down at his phone before replying, ‘hey, whats up???’

‘Do u wanna come over after work?’

‘No family dinner 2nite?’

‘Yea, no, i’ll tell u l8r’ Mikey thought for a moment. He’d have to tell Pete sooner or later that ‘family dinner’ was never a thing to begin with. Not right now, not today.

‘Sure, see u @ 3:30?’

‘Yep’ And then a group of teenagers wandered in, so he shoved his phone back into his pocket and pretended to do work. It wasn’t hard, there were always shirts to fold and lanyards to untangle. 

One of the kids needed something out of the jewelry case and another one needed Mikey’s help getting a shirt down from high up the wall, so at the very least, he did a little real work today. 

Anything he could do to make the time pass faster, he did, and today that meant sweeping the floors four times and wiping down the counters seven times. It didn’t need to be done, but it was something to do.

Frank came in at one and was in shockingly high spirits, but Mikey didn’t really think anything of it. He more or less took advantage of that energy and got Frank to do all the work that he didn’t feel like doing, which was mostly restocking shelves today. Having someone else there made the time seem to go much faster, and soon enough he looked up to see Pete walking through the door.

“Hey!” Pete smiled and waved.

“Hi,” Mikey grinned and looked at the clock, sure enough, it was just past 3:30. He turned around and yelled back through the store. “Hey, Frank, I’m heading out!” 

“Sounds good,” Mikey heard Frank yell back before he clocked out. 

“Alright, what’s the plan?” Pete asked as Mikey stepped out from behind the counter. 

“I was thinking we could get pizza and go back to my house?” Mikey said quietly. It wasn’t often he had anyone over. It wasn’t for any reason in particular, just a bunch of small reasons stacked up. His house was nothing special, he still lived at home, someone was always around, and really, even he barely liked being at home. Most of all, it was because no one ever stuck around long enough for him to feel like inviting them over. Pete was different.

“Sounds good,” Pete said while taking Mikey’s hand into his own. Mikey felt like a teenager, the way that gesture made his heart flutter. 

\------

They drove separately, Pete following Mikey closely so he wouldn’t get lost. Mikey could feel his hands shaking against the steering wheel. He didn’t know exactly what he was nervous about, he just knew he was nervous. He glanced at the rearview mirror as he pulled over on the street in front of his house. Pete was smiling and singing along to whatever music he was listening to, the visual only served to make Mikey’s heart beat faster. He took a few deep breaths before getting out of his car and waiting for Pete at the end of the driveway. 

“Here we are.” Mikey shrugged. He tried not to look at Pete as they made their way into the house because he didn’t think he could handle seeing the disappointment on Pete’s face that would inevitably be there when he opened the front door. 

“Dude!” Pete exclaimed. He was already moving towards a cabinet on the far side of the living room. “This shit is awesome!”

Mikey followed Pete to the stack of records. “Yeah?” He asked, because nothing in this house seemed ‘awesome’ to him.

“There’s so much cool stuff here,” Pete continued as he looked at all the art on the walls, slowly turning in circles to take in the room. He stopped in front of the piano. “Can I?”

“Yeah, of course,” Mikey said slowly. Pete slid down onto the piano bench as Mikey continued. “My mom always wanted me to learn how to play, but I never picked it up. It just, didn’t stick. I play bass though, and I-” Mikey trailed off when Pete started playing. He wasn’t particularly amazing, but there was something beautiful about the way he played, all serious and overly concentrated. 

Pete looked up at Mikey for a second after he’d been quiet for a while. “What?”

“You’re really good,” Mikey was quiet. He had been caught up in the way Pete’s hands looked as they moved over the keys. It was a whole new side of Pete and he wanted to drink it in until it was etched into his brain. Even though the piano was out of tune and Pete kept hitting the wrong keys every so often, Mikey could listen forever. 

“I-” Pete cleared his throat when it came out rougher than he’d expected. He started to play again while he spoke, something slower this time, more morose. “My mom taught me how to play. It was really important to her that I learned, I’m not great, but it’s really calming for me, helps me get out of my own head, if that makes sense. I get stuck there a lot.”

“Yeah, me too.” Mikey agreed idly. He knew what it was like to be in his own head too much for his own good. Unintentionally, he placed a hand on the back of Pete’s neck, stroking the hair that was ruffled by the hood of his sweatshirt. 

He let Pete play for a while before he remembered the whole goal was to order a pizza. “Shit,” Mikey muttered under his breath. “I’m gonna call the pizza place.”

“Yeah, okay,” Pete nodded, now playing a song Mikey thinks he heard on the radio, but couldn’t quite place it. 

The pizza came faster than he expected, and after exchanging money with the awkward teenager at the door, he held up the box triumphantly. “Food’s here, c’mon.” He nodded for Pete to follow him into the kitchen. 

“Sweet!” Pete stood from the piano bench and found himself a new chair at the dining room table where Mikey had set the pizza box down. 

They ate the first few bits in silence, both not realizing how hungry they had been. The kitchen was warm and Mikey was starting to feel something suspiciously close to happiness. “Hey,” He said softly and brushed a crumb off of Pete’s sleeve. It was so simple, everything about being here with Pete just made sense. Weird. 

“Hey,” Pete smiled back, something brilliant and stunning and breathtaking and Mikey had to look back down at his pizza. It was almost too perfect, Mikey was waiting for something to crash or burn and crack because nothing could ever just work out, not for Mikey.

It didn’t, though. They ate their pizza as they snuck fleeting glances at each other. They held hands as they climbed the stairs to Mikey’s room. Their skin was warm where it was pressed together as they kissed. Pete was humming as put their clothes back on. And Mikey really liked the way Pete’s head felt resting on his chest, just over his heart.

When Mikey heard the sound of footsteps entering the house, he knew this could be where it crashes, where the bubble is shattered, but he didn’t want to lose perfect yet. There could be so much more tonight.

“C’mon,” he stood up from the bed and held his hand out to Pete, who took it easily. “Let’s go somewhere.”

“Okay,” Pete nodded. They went back outside and both got into Pete’s car. “Where are we going?” Pete asked once he was situated and had the car running.

“I don’t care, just drive anywhere. I just want to go.” Mikey closed his eyes for a second, adrenaline pumping through his veins. 

“Anywhere it is,” Pete said, and Mikey could hear the smile in his voice. 

\-----

They drove for hours, listening to the radio and quietly singing along to the songs they knew, talking over the ones they didn’t. The windows were rolled down and they shared cigarettes between stories. It was, for Mikey, like the best friend he never had before, and then he rolled his head to the side to look at Pete and the illusion was shattered. Because it wasn’t a friend, because looking at a friend wouldn’t make his heart feel like that. There was something he felt for Pete that he couldn’t quite explain. Like getting punched in the stomach, sitting in a warm bath, the best high he ever felt, and getting a tattoo, all at the same time. It was a swelling in his chest that he’d never felt before and didn’t know what to call it, because there were never going to be the right words to describe the man sitting in the driver’s seat. 

They were at a park and ride, sitting on the hood of Pete’s car, the car still running so they could listen to the radio.

Tonight, Tonight by The Smashing Pumpkins came on and Pete’s face lit up. It was the song Pete had been playing on the piano earlier. “I love this song!” Mikey did too. “You know, I never actually went to a school dance.” Mikey had gone to every single one, a different date at each, and not a single good memory to show. “Do you want to make a new memory?” Every moment with Pete was a new, beautiful memory.

“Yeah,” Mikey smirked, looking down at their entwined fingers. 

“C’mere.” Pete pulled them off the hood of the car. He slung his arms up around Mikey’s neck and pulled him close. They started rocking slowly side to side.

It took Mikey longer than it should have to realize they were dancing. At first, it felt stupid, but Pete’s face was tucked into the crook of Mikey’s neck and he knew he didn’t want to be anywhere else doing anything else. 

The song ended and they were still pressed together, alone in a parking lot, and Mikey felt like he could cry or scream or throw up because the feeling in his chest was overwhelming and maybe letting go of Pete would help, but the thought of their bodies not being intertwined anymore was much worse. There were words he wanted to say to Pete but he didn’t know what they were or how to say them so he just held Pete there and hid a myriad of tiny kissing on the top of his head. Trapped between the scent of the cool night air and the warm scent of cinnamon that seemed to radiate off of Pete. He could live there forever, but they were miles from home and it was the middle of the night, and he knew they had to go back home, to where it wasn’t just them and it wasn’t this easy. 

So they drove back, something different between them now but neither of them were willing to say it or even knew what it was. It was just there. And Pete was there and Mikey was there and there is nothing more that he could ever ask for from this night.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This one was almost late, but I got it done!  
> Just a warning, this one is a little more explicit, but not too bad.  
> I hope you like it<3
> 
> follow me on twitter @heidi_rosaleigh

The days flew past and soon May turned into June. Every moment Mikey could find to himself, he chose to spend it with Pete instead. There was something about Pete that made time move faster and slower all at once whenever he was around. There was no other way Mikey wanted to spend his time, to the point he couldn’t even remember what he used to do before he met Pete. 

“Hey,” Pete murmured from the driver’s seat. 

Mikey glanced over, not realizing that he had been lost in thought for so long. “Oh, hey,” He smiled softly. They were parked outside Pete’s apartment, he didn’t remember getting there. It was going to be his first time inside and he was more nervous than he was willing to admit. There was something so private about someone’s house, especially when it’s theirs and only theirs. Not like Mikey, who still lived with his family, this was just Pete’s and only Pete’s. A private, final side of Pete that Mikey was finally going to get to see. 

“C’mon.” Pete gestured for Mikey to follow him out of the car and up the stairs to the front door. The outside was a dull beige, plain and boring. It blended into the hundreds of other apartment buildings on this street. Inside Pete’s apartment was completely different. The walls were covered with posters and pictures cut out from magazines, placed randomly in a way that probably only makes sense to Pete. His chairs were all random too, bright colors and all comfortable. There was a beanbag in the corner. The TV was surrounded by video games, movies, and the odd CD, precariously stacked and in no real order. It was the most Pete-like living room Mikey could imagine. 

“Whaddya think?” Pete asked with a bright smile.

Mikey could almost laugh, he hadn’t tried to imagine it at all before this moment, but it is also exactly what he expected. “It’s great, very you.”

“It’s my first ever place to myself, I really wanted it to be, ya know, mine?” Pete looked around wistfully. 

“I get it,” Mikey said, somewhat far away, fantasizing about one day getting out of his parent’s house. His apartment wouldn’t look anything like this, he was sure, but it would be his, in his own way. He only had a few more seconds to day dream before Pete was pulling him down onto a dark burgundy couch. “So, what movie do you have planned?” He asked while Pete popped open the Blockbuster case that was sitting on top of the DVD player. 

“I thought we could watch jaws.” Pete said quietly as he worked.

“Why’s that?”

“You said- when we got pretzels that time, you said it was your favorite movie.” Pete turned to look at Mikey for a moment, his head tilted to the side.

“You remembered?” Mikey asked, just as quiet as Pete had been before. No one ever remembered his favorite anything.

“Yeah, of course. I wouldn’t forget that.” Pete said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. And then he settled on the couch with Mikey, remote in hand, and that was the end of that. 

\-----

They watched the movie, kind of. They made it about 15 minutes in before they devolved completely into making out, laying on top of each other on the couch. Hands desperately searching for exposed skin. 

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Mikey moaned when Pete’s hand found it’s way down the front of Mikey’s jeans. 

“Yeah?” Pete asked, finding his own encouragement in the breathy gasps that were coming from Mikey. 

“Yeah,” Mikey agreed, even though somewhere in the back of his mind he knew the question was rhetorical. He just knew he had to make some sound to let Pete knew just how fucking _ good _ what he was doing felt. 

“Wait, fuck- I,” Pete was making small sounds of frustration as he slid off the couch, landing on his knees on the floor. “ _ Sit up _ .” Pete’s voice was low now, hot and thick, and Mikey sat up. Just the  _ sight _ of Pete kneeling between his legs almost sent him over. 

There was a short struggle with Mikey’s belt, but Pete wasted no time after his pants were discarded off to the side. Leaving soft kisses in the crease of Mikey’s hips, giving all the skin equal attention before returning to his main target. His mouth slid over Mikey’s cock slowly, dragging his tongue the whole way down. He was humming softly, sending vibrations up through Mikey’s body making him gasp and struggle to keep his hips planted on the couch, letting Pete set the pace. 

Pete was, for all lack of words, a  _ fucking  _ pro. He knew all the things to do to tie Mikey’s stomach in knots. His fingertips were pressed into Mikey’s hips, alternating between pressure and rubbing small circles and Mikey just knew it was going to bruise and he  _ loved it _ . Mikey held out as long as he could before he grabbed a handful of Pete’s hair, anything to ground himself. Pete sighed softly in affirmation, it was almost a purr and it was so fucking beautiful. His eyes kept flicking up, watching Mikey under eyelashes with a dark glint in his eyes. It was that look that ended it for Mikey in a stream of expletives and gasps. And Pete  _ smiled _ , when he leaned back away from Mikey he smiled like that was his favorite thing to do.

Mikey took a few shaky breaths, just to compose himself, before looking back down at Pete with the same dark glint in his eyes. “ _ Bedroom, _ ” He helped Pete to his feet and let Pete lead the way through his apartment. 

If the living room was the outside persona of Pete, his bedroom was what it must be like to live in his brain. A light purple covered the walls, but it was nearly obscured by black marks. But it wasn’t just scribbles, it was words,  _ poems _ . Covering the walls was poetry, all from Pete’s mind. There were a few open spaces, but not many, and Mikey promised himself to remember the blank spaces so he would know where to look for any new works. 

“This is-” Mikey cut off, eyes catching on a particular poem. 

_ But if you wanted the stars i wouldn’t rest until i was able to pull every one down and name one after each twinkle in your eyes.. And hope you don’t frown when we run out of stars _ .

“Pete,” Mikey said slowly. “Is that- this one,” He pointed. “Is it about-?”

“Yes,” Pete said softly. He was right behind Mikey. “It’s about you.”

“ _ Fuck _ ,” It was barely above a whisper. He turned around, catching Pete’s face between his palms. The reason they moved to the bedroom now becoming the most important thing in Mikey’s entire life. Getting to the bed wasn’t even quick enough, he dropped to his knees right there, in the middle of the bedroom, surrounded by all of Pete’s most vulnerable thoughts written on the walls. He wanted to take his time, desperate to show Pete how much he cared, but everything was so fucking intense right now he couldn’t stop to slow down. 

And Pete, standing above him, with such a poetic mind, couldn’t stop repeating the phrase, “Fuck Mikey, so good, you’re so fucking good. Don’t stop, please don’t fucking stop.” His breath got quicker and the moans getting increasingly high pitch until he breathed out a final “ _ please, _ ” and came. Leaving both breathless and dizzy. 

“Mikey, I lo-” Pete started, and then clarity washed over his face and he stopped. “That was amazing.” He chose to say instead. “Do you want to finish the movie?” He asked as he pulled his jeans back up. 

“Yeah,” Mikey nodded, still breathless, still searching for what it was Pete was about to say. 

\-----

When the movie ended, Mikey knew he had to go home. He had an opening shift in the morning, and it was well past midnight at this point. They put it off for as long as possible, but they were finally making their way back out to Pete’s car. Pete now was wearing a jacket, and Mikey in one of Pete’s hoodies, the sleeves a little too short on his arms. He didn’t care, it was Pete’s and it was on him and that was amazing in and of itself.

“It’s a good movie,” Pete said after driving in silence for a few minutes.

Mikey looked at him sideways. “We barely watched it.”

“I know, but the parts we watched were good, and the stuff we missed… There were better things happening.” Pete smirked to himself, but Mikey mirrored his expression.

“Yeah,” It was getting late and Mikey was uncharacteristically tired, almost falling asleep in the passenger seat. The drive home was short, less than ten minutes, but Pete had this look in his face the entire drive that Mikey couldn’t quite figure out. All the lights in Mikey’s house were off, save the porch light. He didn’t want to go in, not because someone was awake, but because it was away from Pete. 

Pete seemed to understand that and got out of the car himself and walked around the front to open Mikey’s door for him. Finally, begrudgingly, he got out of the car. 

“What’s on your mind?” Mikey asked, because Pete was still looking that weird way he had been the whole drive. 

For a minute, Pete thought, letting whatever he was thinking rattle around in his brain for a while before finally returning Mikey’s eye contact. He released one long sigh.

“I think I love you,” Pete said, with a tilt of his head.

Fuck. All Mikey could say is, “Yeah,” because he’s only ever said ‘I love you’ to his family, and he honestly only ever meant it to Gerard. Love wasn’t a word he just threw around, maybe because he never loved anyone he had been with before, and maybe because no one ever stuck around long enough for him to feel it. If anyone deserved it, it was Pete, but he didn’t really know what love felt like, so how could he possibly know that the feelings he felt for Pete were that? So, he said “Yeah,” and left it at that. Going up the driveway to his house and not understanding the way his heart dropped when he heard Pete drive away.

\-----

And then Pete just, disappeared. There was radio silence for two weeks. 

Two weeks where there wasn’t a call or a text. There couldn’t even be a ‘hi’ in passing at work, because Pete wasn’t there. Claire’s, the stupid store that Mikey always hated, but then grew to enjoy seeing, because in it, there was a chance of seeing Pete. Now the stupid pink that seemed to radiate from it only seemed to piss Mikey off more and more as the days passed. 

Night after night Mikey stared at his phone, just daring it to ring and for Pete to be on the other end, but it didn’t happen. He slept in Pete’s hoodie the first week, then settled for hugging it against his chest when it stopped smelling like Pete. More than once he caught himself doing the same things that made him worry about his brother, drinking alone in his room, smoking more than he ever had before. One morning he woke up on the bathroom floor and couldn’t remember how he got there. Another night he tripped and fell on the front porch, too drunk to stand, and thought maybe, maybe he would just die out there, but Gerard found him, by some miracle. That night the tables turned, it was Gerard helping him back into bed and bringing him up something to eat. He couldn’t get the words ‘thank you’ to form, but Gerard knew what he was trying to say and gave him a pat on the shoulder and an offer to talk about it.

Mikey didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t want to talk to anyone that wasn’t Pete, and Pete wasn’t talking. He lost track of how many times he thought about calling Pete, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He knew he was at fault. Pete laid it all out, Pete told Mikey he loved him, and Mikey couldn’t say it back. He didn’t know how. Now the words ‘I love you’ were the only thing left in his mind. 

There was no quick fix, no way for him to just call and say, ‘hey, sorry I couldn’t say I love you, I just didn’t know what love felt like.’ He could say it now, he knew he could, he fucking  _ wanted to _ , but maybe it’s too late, because Pete’s not  _ here _ . 

\-----

_ Two weeks and one day _ . Mikey looked at his calendar one last time. X’s crossing off the days since Pete said ‘I love you,’ since Pete disappeared. He had to call tonight, he had to do something because he was so far from okay that it hurt.

He drove to work with the radio off because every stupid song made him think of Pete, and looking at Claire’s all day was bad enough. 

Mikey worked with Frank today, and he knew that Frank knew that something was wrong, so he begged the universe in the parking lot for Frank not to ask any questions. The store was empty when he walked in, save Frank, and that was definitely not a bad thing. He didn’t know if he could put on a smile to talk to customers right now. After shoving his stuff in the back room he set up post at the register and pulled his phone out. Frank gave him a sideways glance, but he must have been able to read Mikey’s mind today, because he just shook his head and walked away to work on something on the other side of the store. 

Seven. He had been at work for ten minutes and he’s already looked at Claire’s seven times. Every time only to see a skinny blonde girl in the place where Pete should be. He didn’t even know her name but right now he decided he hated her, just for the sole fact that she was not Pete. He was going to lose it within the first hour. 

“Just get through the shift,” Mikey said to himself. He was gonna fix it after he was done with work today, he didn’t know how, but he had to because he wasn’t alright when Pete was gone. In just a few months, his whole world changed and he couldn’t go back to how it was.

Stock shelves. Fold shirts. Clean dressing rooms. The things he used to do to pass the time until he got to see Pete hurt to do, because it wasn’t going to end with him between Pete’s thighs. 

Frank was doing his best to make conversation and to fill space, and Mikey had to give him that, but right now, Frank was just a Pete sized person that wasn’t Pete, and that only seemed to piss Mikey off. And Everytime Frank got a text, it was like a constant reminder of Mikey’s own failed relationship. 

Mikey had just gotten a teenage boy and his mom checked out when he finally looked at the clock again. 3:24. 

Only 6 more minutes and he could call Pete. He could tell Pete that he was sorry, that he didn’t know what to say, that he fucking loved Pete and every single minute they spent together. 

5 minutes until he could tell Pete everything. Tell him that he’s never been in love before and he didn’t know what it felt like, but he knows now, because all he wants is to kiss Pete for the rest of forever. 

In 4 minutes he would tell Pete just how fucked up he’s been since Pete disappeared. That he used to be fine being alone and that he didn’t care, but now being alone was the worst thing he could be. That he started to hate the smell of cinnamon because it made him think of Pete, and that the smell of cinnamon without Pete there wasn’t that sweet anymore.

He would buy them pretzels in 3 minutes and take them over to Pete’s so they could share them while watching a movie that they wouldn’t pay attention to and wouldn’t finish. He would play with Pete’s hair and fucking beg him to never go again, because he wanted Pete all for his own, even if he didn’t know what that looked like or what that meant or even what being  _ someone’s _ felt like.

At 2 minutes, the bell rang through the store, letting him know there was a customer in the store. He would have to put on a smile and help someone all while his heart was trying to beat it’s way out of his chest. He could fake it, just for now.

Just for 1 last customer. 

A shadow fell over the counter and he knew someone was standing there, someone that needed his help, that he couldn’t bring himself to look up at.

“Hey.”


	7. Chapter 7

Mikey brought himself to look up at the voice, because it was a voice he recognized instantly. Pete was standing there, hands shoved in his sweatshirt pockets, nervously shifting from side to side.

“Hey,” He said again, because now Mikey was looking at him. There was a shake in his voice that he was unsuccessfully trying to hide.

“Pete, I-” Mikey started then stopped. He didn’t know what to say. He had two weeks to plan this out, to get his thoughts together, but now that Pete was standing in front of him, he couldn’t get a single clear sentence to form. He looked down at himself, he was wearing Pete’s hoodie again, he’d barely spent a day without it since Pete disappeared, he wondered if Pete noticed. Two minutes passed where Mikey just stood there, staring at Pete like he was seeing a ghost. In that time, he still only came up with one thought, two words. He said those two words. “I’m sorry.”

“Can we talk?” Pete looked down at the counter at Mikey’s words. 

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Mikey pushed some buttons on the computer and clocked out. “Let’s go.”

They walked out of the mall in silence. Mikey desperately wanted to reach out, hold Pete’s hand, pull him in and kiss him, but he couldn’t. The silence was too heavy. The tension too high. He had no idea what Pete was thinking, where Pete had been, and he had no idea how to bridge that gap. Pete felt so far away, although they were only inches apart. 

Pete led them out into the parking lot, the sun was shining and making it warm. Pete didn’t remove his hoodie. Their cars were still parked right next to each other, like always, like nothing had changed. Even in the heat of the sun, Mikey felt cold. They sat down on the curb, too far away but still too close.

Mikey wondered briefly if he should make small talk, ask Pete how he’s been, but it didn’t seem right. He knew that wasn’t right. He knew the answer to how he was doing, it was the same as his own would be: terrible. He looked over at Pete, who was staring out at the cars, he had to break the silence. It was on him, he knew that too. “Pete,” Mikey started, but when Pete looked over, the expression on his face made Mikey pause. He looked completely broken, and Mikey knew it was his fault, he was the one that caused that. He knew because he caused the exact same pain for himself. There was only one thing he had to say to even start breaking the ice between them. “I love you.”

“What?” Pete blinked.

“I wasn’t okay when you were gone. I don’t know how else to say that. I wanted to call you every fucking minute.” Mikey ran a hand through his hair. “I fucked up, I know that. I don’t know what it’s like to be in love, I didn’t know what it felt like, but I know, I think, I think I know now. I’m sorry I couldn’t say it before, but I can now. Fuck, Pete, I fucking love you.”

“Mikes,” Pete’s face was soft.

“Please don’t say you changed your mind.”

“I couldn’t change my mind about you.” Pete moved towards Mikey. “I had to go away because I thought that’s what I needed, space or something, or maybe just to never come back. But I just, I couldn’t handle it. I was losing my mind. God, it’s like something’s in my veins when I’m with you, and I couldn’t be without it anymore. I’d let you destroy my life and I wouldn’t care. Mikey, I’d let you fucking  _ break me _ , as long as I can be with you.”

“I don’t want to break you.” Mikey said softly. He knew he already had.

“It’s like I can’t get away from you.” Pete sighed.

“Then don’t.”

“What?”

“Then don’t get away from me, be here, be with me.” Mikey said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, like he hadn’t struggled to tell Pete he loved him just two weeks earlier. Like he wasn’t going to backpedal like crazy the second it becomes real.

“Can I?” Pete asked, tucking a strand of Mikey’s hair behind his ear. 

“I-” Mikey started. He shouldn’t have said that, he didn’t know what it meant to be with someone, how it worked, and of course that’s what Pete wanted. It’s what Mikey wanted too, but he just didn’t know how. “I want to, but,” Pete’s face fell at the word ‘but,’ because, with Mikey, it seemed like there was always a reason not to.

“But.” Pete repeated. He raised an eyebrow, prompting Mikey to continue.

“I don’t know how.” Mikey admitted. It was time to accept the fact that this was all new to him, even though he knew Pete already knew this, he had to say it, more to himself than anything. It was easy to feel good about himself when everyone wanted to fuck him, but when he laid it all out, end to end, the reality always set it. When it came to actually dating, to actually being wanted and cared about, it was way out of his element. And how could Pete understand that? Anyone that met Pete would fall in love with him, he was like a fucking magnet. If Pete changed his mind, didn’t want Mikey like  _ that _ anymore, he would be just like everyone else. Mikey prayed Pete wasn’t like everyone else. “I’ve never ‘been with’ someone before, not in like, a real, together way? I know I said it before, but I mean it, I’ve always just been a hook up.” 

“I know,” Pete sighed. He took a few beats to stare back out at the cars before turning back to Mikey. “I just have to know if this is what you want.” He placed his hand on Mikey’s thigh.

“It is.”  _ More than anything _ .

“Then we figure it out.” Pete shrugged. “Together. Because I want to be with you, and if the past two weeks tells you anything, I can’t not be with you.”

“What does that mean?” Mikey placed his own hand over Pete’s.

“It means we can be together, no labels, and figure out what it means to you.” Pete flipped his hand to hold Mikey’s back. “I don’t know what else to say, Mikes. Whatever we are currently, it’s not healthy, for either of us. But I’d rather be here while it goes up in flames than let you get away.” 

“Everything I ever do crashes and burns.”

“Then we crash and burn together.”

Mikey frowned and turned to face Pete. “Is that what you want?”

Pete laughed, almost. It was a puff of air that was more of a laugh that he wouldn’t let escape. “I want you in whatever way I can have you.”

It was a series of words Mikey would expect to hear someone say about his brother, not him. He never imagined someone feeling that way about him, and to be honest, it kind of sucked. It was like a punch in the stomach, knowing someone else’s happiness was in his hands, especially since he didn’t know what to do with it. He was sick with wanting to be what Pete wanted, but he never was and didn’t think he ever would be. How could Pete even feel that way about him? At best, Mikey was a second rate, second choice. He was a silver medal when everyone else got the gold. He was a mistake you made under sheets, knowing that you’ll regret it later. He had spent his whole life trying to be what people wanted, and he still ended up being a risk you took at midnight, not a choice you made at noon. Pete was choosing him, and Mikey didn’t know why, because, to him, there was nothing about him to choose, only settle for. 

That stupid, infectious smile that was seemingly always on Pete’s face wasn’t something for him to cause, it was something he would destroy, it was just a question of when. Pete wasn’t smiling now, instead his eyes were filled with pain over what Mikey couldn’t be, and hope, for what he could. 

“I’ve never-” Mikey started, some self deprecating comment along the lines of everything else he’s said in the past fifteen minutes, just in a new order, plagiarizing his own bad essay. 

Pete cut him off. “Stop. Stop fucking saying what you’ve never done or never been. What do you want to be?”

_ Yours _ . The cliche floated through Mikey’s head, he could say it, it wouldn’t be untrue. Instead, the word got lodged in his throat, threatened to make him choke, and he knew that he couldn’t say it. “With you,” Mikey settled on saying. “I want to be with you.”

“Then stop making excuses for why you can’t. No one from the past is stopping you, I’m not stopping you. The only one stopping you from being happy is you.” Pete said, probably harsher than he meant. Somewhere in the back of Mikey’s mind, he knew he deserved it. Pete gave Mikey a chance to respond, but Mikey didn’t say anything, he just nodded, so Pete continued, a new wave of bravery, or maybe confidence. “So. Now that that’s settled. Say it again, Mikeyway.”

“Say what?”

“Say that you love me.” Pete sighed.

Mikey shook his head, letting the tension start to melt between them, a small smirk spreading onto his face. So, he said it, Pete deserved to hear it again and again forever. He said “I love you,” low and soft and finally, finally Pete cracked a smile.

“Yeah,” Pete leaned forward, just enough to kiss him, barely, just a brush of their lips. “I love you, too, Mikeyway.” 

\-----

There was a knock on Mikey’s bedroom door. He was about to just yell ‘come in,’ when he remembered, or moreso, was reminded that Pete was in bed with him. Half asleep and curled up against Mikey’s side, head resting on his chest. Mikey tried to think of the best thing to do, when the knock came again, this time waking Pete. 

“Mikey!” Gerard called from the other side of the door. There was a beat, and then he knocked again, this time asking, “Are you in there?” 

“One sec-” Mikey started to yell back when the door swung open. 

“Mikey, I was about to-” Gerard looked at the bed, at Pete, then back up at Mikey. “Oh.” He blinked a few times and cleared his throat. “Sorry, I’ll just…” He turned to leave then turned back to Mikey again. “I’m making breakfast. Do you want pancakes?”

“Yeah, sure.” Mikey said, trying to hide his face behind his hands. “Can you just…”

“Yeah, sorry.” He shifted awkwardly in the doorway. “Does your, uh, friend, want pancakes?”

“Can you please just shut the door, Gee?” Mikey groaned. 

“Sorry, sorry. Yeah.” Gerard started shutting the door, then peaked in one last time. “It’ll be, just, uh, pancakes will be ready in twenty. If you both want some.” With that, he finally shut the door and Mikey could hear him jog down the stairs at record speed.

Mikey glanced down at Pete who was trying, and failing, to hold in laughter. “It’s not funny.”

Pete smirked up at Mikey. “Do you think he could sense that you’re not wearing any pants?” He reached up to ruffle Mikey’s hair. Mikey swatted his hand away.

“Shut up.” He rolled his eyes, trying to feign annoyance, but Pete could see the way the corner of his mouth was pulled up. 

Pete rolled over so he was mostly on top of Mikey and kissed the corner of his mouth that was threatening to creep up. “I like waking up next to you.”

“Yeah.” Mikey agreed and pulled him into a deeper kiss. 

“We need to go downstairs, you know.” Pete said against Mikey’s cheek. “Your brother’s gonna wonder.” 

“I know,” Mikey sighed. He kissed Pete again, running his hands over the bare skin of his chest. “I know.”

“C’mon.” Pete sat up, pulling the blanket with him and letting the cool air of Mikey’s room brush over their skin. There was now a much bigger incentive to get their clothes back on. “Let’s get dressed.”

As they started collecting their clothes off the floor, Mikey looked down at the sweater of Pete’s that he’d been wearing for weeks now. He held it up and looked at Pete. “Do you want this back?” The fabric was soft on his fingers, and he didn’t really want to give it back, he’d grown fully attached to the hoodie. 

Pete tilted his head to the side and looked at it. He said, “It’s yours now. It looks better on you anyway,” and got back to putting on the sweatshirt he’d been wearing the night before, the purple one. The one he was wearing the day Mikey met him.

“Yeah.” Mikey agreed absently as he put it back on. Warm, like Pete was always holding him when he wore it. 

“Let’s go get food, I’m starving.” Pete smiled and grabbed Mikey’s hand as they exited his room. Now it wasn’t just the hoodie making him feel warm inside. It was Pete, and the way this just felt right.

They had just rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairs when Gerard called from the kitchen. “The first batch is ready!” He set the plate down on the table just as Pete and Mikey were settling into chairs right next to each other. “They’re kinda ugly, but I’m sure they’ll taste fine. I used grandma’s recipe.”

The pancakes were ugly. They were all different shapes and sizes and some of them looked a little lumpy, but Mikey knew Gerard was trying his best, so he wasn’t going to say anything. Luckily, they also tasted delicious, so them being all weird and misshapen wasn’t that big of a deal.

Gerard turned around after pouring out another batch of pancakes onto the griddle. “You must be Pete,” He said, pointing the spatula at Pete.

“I am,” Pete replied after finishing his bite. He added, “hi, Mikey’s brother,” with a giant smile that Mikey couldn’t help smiling back at.

“Gerard.” Gerard said, shaking his head. Mikey wondered if that’s the first time he’s ever been referred to as ‘Mikey’s brother.’ Usually it was people thinking of Mikey as just ‘Gerard’s little brother.’ “Do you work with Mikes?”

Pete laughed. “No, I work across from him, at Claire’s. I just hung around Hot Topic until I got Mikey to hang out with me.” He squeezed Mikey’s hand under the table. “I wandered around that store almost daily for two weeks before I got up the courage to say hi.”

“You did?” Mikey turned to face him.

“Yeah? You didn’t notice?” Pete asked, like it had been impossible not to notice him. He had a point, Mikey thought as he looked at Pete. He was always wearing that purple hoodie, some bright-ass skate shoes, the most ridiculous skinny jeans, and straightened his hair so much it was fried. He was basically a caricature of a person, a cartoon version of a scene kid. 

Mikey blushed. “I guess I’m on my phone a lot at work.”

“Literally constantly.” Pete shook his head. 

“I’m glad you’re the same at work as you are at home.” Gerard turned back to his pancakes to flip them. He was quiet for a little while he cooked, then after a few minutes added. “So because of Mikey being Mikey, I’ve heard absolutely nothing about you, Pete.”

Mikey tried to hide behind his hands, but Pete just laughed. “Yeah, he’s not much of a talker. I’m from Chicago, moved out here to be on my own for a bit, and I’m just kinda working at Claire’s until I figure out what I really want to do with my life.” He paused to think for a second. “I’m a writer, I guess? I write a lot of poetry, and I’d love to do something with that someday. Maybe write a book.”

“That’s awesome!” Gerard exclaimed, switching off the griddle and moving the last pancakes onto a plate. He settled down at the table before continuing. “I’m an artist, and a writer too, sometimes. I went to art school, but I haven’t really found the right fit yet. I want to write comics. Mikey and I read comic books all the time when we were kids, and I think it would be cool to put something back out into the world that made me so happy when I was younger.” 

“Mikey’s told me. Sometime you should show me some of your art.” He popped the last piece of pancake into his mouth and looked at the clock on the wall. “Some other time, though, I have to head to work now. Thanks for breakfast.” He moved to stand, Mikey followed.

“Yeah, it’s no problem.” Gerard gave a little wave. “Nice meeting you.”

“You too!” Pete called back from the living room, almost all the way to the front door. He turned all his attention to Mikey with his hand on the door knob. “Hey.” 

“Hey.” Mikey smirked briefly, but his expression sobered quickly. “Thank you, for coming back and talking to me last night. I was gonna call so many times, but I didn’t know what to say. I figured it out.”

“I know,” Pete murmured and kissed the back of Mikey’s hand, brushing his lips over each knuckle. “Me too.”

“I’ll talk to you later.”

“Always.” Pete pulled Mikey in and properly kissed him. “I won’t disappear again.” And with one more kiss he slipped out the front door and half jogged to his car.

Mikey watched him go the whole way, so he didn’t notice Gerard sneak into the living room or realize he was there until he spoke. 

“So are you guys-?” 

He thought for a second, letting the smile fade from his face before he turned around to face his brother, but he couldn’t stop it from coming back when he spoke, not when he was thinking about actually being with Pete. “No labels, but, yeah.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for being patient as I finished this last chapter. It's finally here!! 
> 
> I'm so thankful for everyone that's been supportive of and this fic throughout the whole process, it means so so much to me! <3
> 
> Follow me on twitter @Ripleyrosalie (Same account, just a new @)

The week flew by because Pete was back. Everytime Mikey looked up, he could see Pete, and just him being there made him smile. Even just in the little things he did as he moved about the store, working, oblivious to how it make Mikey’s heart hammer in his chest when he’d do the smallest thing. It happened enough that Frank took notice and wouldn’t stop teasing him for it, but weirdly enough, Mikey didn’t seem to care. For the first time since working there, Frank could be completely and totally annoying, and it didn’t bother Mikey at all. 

What really seemed to make the days pass was waiting for Friday, because on Friday, they were going on a date. A real date. A for real dinner date. It was Pete’s idea, of course it was Pete’s idea, because Pete actually knew what a real date was. Getting dinner together because you want to spend time with the other person, not just as a weird formality before reaching the real goal, which for everyone Mikey ever ‘went on a date’ with, had always been sex. Today was Friday.

Mikey had gotten off work hours ago and now he was just waiting for Pete. He considered getting dressed up, but that wasn’t really his deal, and he didn’t think it was Pete’s either. For good measure, he did straighten his hair, and maybe, just maybe, put on a little eyeliner. It had the same effect as dressing up. In theory. Because what if Pete dressed up and he didn’t and he looked dumb, even worse, what if he dressed up and Pete didn’t? He’d look dumn either way. So he ended up somewhere in the middle. A button down shirt with ripped jeans, a nice jacket with black boots. 

He was nervous and he felt stupid for being nervous, because really it was just Pete, but it was also  _ Pete _ , and he’d never felt the way he felt about Pete for literally anyone else in the past. The doorbell rang and that was enough to get him out of his own head and out of his room. 

The bell rang three more times as he made his way down the stairs and to the front door. “Hey,” Mikey said breathlessly as he swung open the front door to Pete.

Pete. Who was holding 2 roses in his hand, the other outstretched to press the doorbell again. He quickly withdrew his hand and smiled at Mikey. “Hey,” He looked down for a second then back up before he remembered what he was holding. He stuttered out, “Oh, uh- These are for you,” before holding the roses out to Mikey. 

“Thanks,” Mikey all but whispered. He could feel the blush rising in his cheeks, and maybe that made him feel more stupid than anything he could possibly have been wearing. “You look nice.” He added, to hopefully get the attention off himself. Pete did look nice, for Pete. The only real difference being a suit jacket pulled on over a black hoodie instead of the purple one. 

“Yeah?” He smiled even bigger. “C’mon, let’s go. Our reservations are soon.” He reached out and took Mikey’s free hand and led him to the car. It was a good thing Pete was walking ahead of Mikey, he thought, because that way Pete couldn’t see just how much he was blushing. 

It actually seemed like Pete had cleaned his car out for their date, because all the empty coffee cups and crushed energy drinks were nowhere to be seen and there was a distinct scent of lemon floating in the air. 

Mikey fiddled with the petals on the roses and brushed his thumb over the thorns. Usually flower stores cut off the thorns, but he noticed that they missed one, so he pressed the pad of his finger over the spike. It was grounding him, or something, he thought, making him less nervous. 

He always hated feeling nervous. He was, for most of his life, the kind of guy that everyone assumed was just confident. Although he tended to be closed off, he didn’t get nervous, he knew who he was and he had always been confident in that. Now he wasn’t being what he was used to and he felt completely out of place, out of his element. He knew he should make conversation, but he didn’t know what. The butterflies in his stomach could only focus on how attractive Pete was, the way his jaw looked extra sharp when he was concentrating on driving. That wasn’t exactly something he thought he could just say, so he sat quiet. Until Pete looked over at Mikey, a glint in his eyes and small smile when he spoke.

“Okay, so uh, I may have lied a little.” Pete laughed to himself. “We don’t have reservations.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, I wanted to sound fancy okay? We’re going to Applebees, they- you don’t need reservations at Applebees.” Pete looked back out the window.

“Applebees is good.” Mikey said and placed his hand on Pete’s shoulder. It was genuine, Applebees was the place his family always went when they were trying to be fancy. They hadn’t gone in years.

“I wanted to take you someplace really nice, you know? You deserve it. But I work at Claire’s and well, they don’t exactly pay great.” He smirked at Mikey. “Applebees is the best I could do.”

“It’s perfect, Pete, really.” Mikey looked down at the flowers in his hand. “It’s the best date I could imagine.” His stomach flipped at the word  _ date _ . He couldn’t tell if it was excitement, nerves, or fear. Whichever way, he pushed it down and tried to ignore it. He pushed it down until Pete parked the car, and he kept pushing it down when Pete took his hand as they walked into the restaurant. It was when Pete pulled out Mikey’s chair for him that he was no longer able to keep pushing it down and something just had to burst out right then or he might just explode or scream or cry, which would be much worse.

“I love you,” Mikey said, eyes wide and nervous. Even though he’s already said, even though he made peace with loving Pete a few weeks again, saying it now, in public, while on a real date, it made it seem like a much bigger deal.

Pete’s face spit into a giant smile. “I love you too, Mikeyway.” And then they both had to look down at their menus because if they didn’t that feeling of imminent spontaneous combustion was going to come right back and consume them both this time. 

“Hi!” Came a chipper voice a few moments later, “I’m your waiter tonight.” 

Mikey looked up to see a smiling, pretty blonde girl. “Hi,” He smiled back.

“Can I get you two anything to drink?”

Mikey looked at Pete to answer first. He was the more sociable one, and he asked Mikey, so he just wanted to follow Pete’s lead. 

“I’ll have a cherry coke.” Pete looked back down at the menu hurriedly, knowing the next question would be what they wanted to eat and he was still very far from knowing the answer. He hoped silently Mikey would take his time, but he also knew that was very unlikely. 

“Uhhh,” Mikey struggled. He glanced back at the drink menu, then up at the waitress, to Pete looking at his own menu, before looking back up at the waitress. “I’ll have, uhh, I’ll just have water.” When did he forget how to talk to people? 

The girl scribbled it down quickly. “Alright! Do you guys know what you want to eat yet, or do you need more time?”

That, Mikey actually had the answer. “I’ll have a burger, and fries. Thank you.”

“And for you?”

Pete’s head shot up, suddenly aware that he needed to answer and he still didn’t know what. Fuck.  _ What did Mikey order? _ He couldn’t remember, or he didn’t hear, or really, he was too busy trying to speed read the entire menu. “I’ll have the same thing.” He answered, sure it would be fine. Mikey had good enough taste, right? He was on a date with Pete, if that was any indication. 

“I’ll go get the drinks for you, and the food shouldn’t take long at all!” She gave one more giant smile before scampering off.

Pete waited a few minutes after their drinks came before peaking up at Mikey from behind his hair. “What do you order?” He almost whispered.

“‘What did I order?’ Pete, you ordered the same thing as me, what do you mean ‘what did you order?’” Mikey tilted his head.

“I uhhh, I didn’t know what I wanted yet and the waitress was here and I got nervous and I didn’t hear what you said but I was out of time so I just, you know, assumed you chose something good.” Pete shrugged, taking another drink of his soda. 

Mikey blinked a few times before losing his composure and laughing, just a little. “We’re having a burger and fries.”

Pete smiled. “Oh! We made a good choice.”

“Yeah,” Mikey laughed softly, “ _We_ sure did.”

\-----

Mikey had never eaten so fast in his entire life. It definitely wasn’t because he was nervous to say the wrong thing and for Pete to disappear again, maybe forever this time. He knew he shouldn’t, he knew he fixed it, sort of, but he was nervous. He couldn’t lose Pete again, he couldn’t. He couldn’t handle it if he lost him again. When Pete was gone, he wasn’t okay. He didn’t know if he could go through that again.

“Mikey?” Pete asked, setting down the french fry he had been holding. “You okay?”

“Hmm?” Mikey looked up from where he had been staring at his empty plate. 

“You’re quiet. Are you okay?” Pete repeated, reaching his hand out to hold Mikey’s. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m sorry.” Mikey paused for a moment, to think. Pete deserved to know what he was thinking, at least somewhat, in some realm. “I’m just really glad you’re here.” 

“I’m always happy to be with you, Mikey, I always want to be with you.” Pete squeezed his hand. 

“Me too.”

\-----

For weeks it was date after date. Whenever they had free time, after work, on lunch, they would go on dates. At the movies, bowling, one night at a seedy bar where they huddled together in the corner, both under the guise that they felt safer when they were close. Sometimes, late at night when Mikey was the only one in the store, he’d sneak Pete through the door labeled ‘Employees only’ and they’d make out against the shelves of the back room. More than once Mikey found himself alone in the back room of Claire’s where he and Pete had been letting hands travel when a customer came and Pete had to go out and Mikey had to hide. The parents having no idea the man piercing their kids ears hand just been exploring someone’s pants among the extra stock. 

It was real, for once in Mikey’s life, something was real. Someone wanted to hold his hand, show him off in public, act like he wasn’t some secret, like someone that should be hidden. And Pete wasn’t expecting anything back, any answers, he was being patient with Mikey and it was everything he needed, and more. Because Pete was more than everything Mikey could ask for. 

More than that, when Mikey was working, Pete would come in visit, just to spend time with him, just because he wanted to be together. He put up with Frank’s teasing until it tapered off. Until now, when Frank would see Pete walk in and he’d just move to the back of the store. Frank didn’t care if he found Pete annoying and loud, Mikey was happy, and that was something he wasn’t used to. 

Now was one of those times. Mikey was working, well, he was at work on his phone, Frank by his side trying to make conversation. The bell rang and they both looked up to see Pete wander in, hands barely shoved into the shallow pockets of his skinny jeans.

Frank mumbled something about needing to get some work done in the back and shuffled away. 

“Hey,” Mikey smiled. It was weird to see Pete not in his purple hoodie, but it was July, and even in Jersey, it was getting hot. 

“Hi!” Pete sped up his pace to reach Mikey. He stood awkwardly, trying to feign nonchalance but landing somewhere uncanny and uncomfortable. “How are you doing?” 

Mikey nodded as he spoke. “I’m good, we close an hour early tonight, nine instead of ten, y’know, because it’s the fourth-”

“Of July, yeah!” Pete finished Mikey’s thought. “Do you… have any plans?”

Mikey quirked an eyebrow. “My family used to do stuff, we stopped a while ago. I think my parents decided Gee and I were too old to make us all do stuff together anymore. So uh, I guess not really.”

“In that case, I have a surprise for you tonight.” Pete said casually as he leaned his back against the Hot Topic counter. 

“Yeah?” Mikey titled his head as he looked up, even though he knew Pete couldn’t see it. “What is it?”

“Mikes… That would completely ruin the point of it being a surprise.” He shook his head. “Right at 9, when you’re done with work, I’ll be back. So don’t like, sprint out of here or something, because I’ll meet you here.” 

“Mmhmm,” Mikey smirk. “Guess I’ll have to change my plans. It felt like a sprint and hide kinda night, but I guess not.” 

Pete rolled his eyes. “Very funny. I’ll see you at nine.” He cleared his throat and looked down at his hands. “I uh, have to go now, need to grab some stuff. My blanket and some sna- wait, no, not that stuff. Definitely not that stuff for the surprise tonight.” 

“Definitely not.” Mikey agreed, trying his best not to laugh at Pete. He was trying his best, it wouldn’t be fair to laugh at him. “Have a good time not getting that stuff.”

“I will,” Pete smiled, bright and addictive. “I’ll see you at nine, promise.”

“Yeah, of course.” Mikey licked his lips, trying to hide his own smile. “I’ll see you then.”

\-----

Pete didn’t lie, at exactly 9 p.m., as the lights in the mall switched to half power, Mikey saw Pete stride up to wait outside the Hot Topic door, a backpack slung over his shoulder. Mikey waved at him, and Pete gave a little wave in return before yelling to Mikey from where he was standing. 

“You close up! I’ll be right here!”

Mikey shook his head and leaned back over to keep counting down the register, a smile now plastered on his face that he couldn’t seem to shake. He got his work done as fast as he could, only struggling a little bit with the way his hands seemed to be thrumming with excitement, even though he didn’t know what Pete’s surprise  _ was _ . 

“Alright!” Mikey exclaimed as he stood up from locking the gate. “What’s the surprise?”

“Stop asking what the surprise is,” Pete shook his head and held his hand out, “And just come with me.”

With a small laugh, Mikey took Pete’s hand and just let himself get led through the mall. “Yeah, yeah, okay.” It was, at max, 15 steps in when Mikey knew where they were going. Of course it was to the roof. With Pete, it was always up there. 

The sun had set not too long ago, so the memory of orange and pink was still hanging on the edge of the horizon. Just like Pete had done for the month after they met, he had a blanket laid out, this time closer to the edge of the building, closer to the Hudson. 

“I, uh,” Pete began to stutter out, his hand flexing in Mikey’s grip. “I wanted to watch the fireworks together.” He looked down then over at Mikey. “Is that dumb?”

Mikey squeezed his hand, trying to calm the nervous movements. “It’s not dumb it all, it’s amazing, Pete.”

“Okay, yeah, okay.” Pete nodded and pulled Mikey over to the blanket so that could sit down. 

Pete lowered his backpack onto the blanket and pulled out a large bottle of cheap champagne before settling down. Mikey sidled himself up against Pete. “It shouldn’t be too long before they start, it’s getting dark.”

“Yeah,” Mikey agreed, resting his hand on Pete’s thigh. “I haven’t watched them in years, and never with this amazing of a view.”  _ And this amazing of company _ . He left that part unsaid. 

“I’m glad we could watch them together.” Pete smiled and looked up at Mikey, pausing from his current effort of uncorking the champagne. 

It didn’t take him too long before the cork sprung out with a pop and he took a drink right from the bottle. He passed it to Mikey as soon as the fizzing went down. “I’m sorry I didn’t think to bring glasses.”

Mikey took a long drink and set the bottle down between them. “It’s okay, I don’t mind.” He stole a glance at Pete and smiled. “I like sharing.”

Pete’s face split into a giant smile at that. “Funny you should say that, because I’ve been thinking.” He pulled his hand away to grab his backpack and set it in his lap. “I know you really like that one grey hoodie,” He waved his hand the gesture that Mikey was wearing it right now. “But, uh, I thought maybe I could have it back, so I could, maybe,” He dug around for a bit, struggling to search and speak at the same time. But he got his hands on the item he was looking for and turned his attention back to Mikey. “Maybe I could give you this one instead.” He pulled the wad of fabric out of his bag and handed it to Mikey. 

In the low light, it took Mikey a few moments to realize what he was holding. It was a hoodie, Pete’s hoodie, Pete’s  _ purple _ hoodie. The one that he was always wearing, the one that he met Mikey in. And Pete, Pete was just  _ giving _ it to him. “Pete, I,” Mikey held it close to his chest. “Are you sure?”

“Of course, Mikey, you said you like sharing, I want to share it with you.” Pete swallowed heavily. “I want to share everything.”

Before he could even think, Mikey was taking off the hoodie of Pete’s he was currently wearing and handing it to Pete. It was still warm, the July heat still thick in the air, but Mikey felt like if he didn’t get that stupid fucking purple hoodie on right this second he was gonna choke. It was still warm from being in Pete’s backpack, and it smelled like him, stronger than the one he’d been wearing for over a month now. Like cinnamon and home. He loved it.

“Thank you,” Mikey whispered, running his hands over the sleeves. “It’s really, I mean- I love you.”

Pete’s face scrunched up, a smile pushing its way through. He’d never get tired of hearing Mikey say that. “I love you, too.” 

They passed the bottle back and forth, now cuddled together, pressing kisses to each other’s cheek while they were trying to drink. The bottle ran empty after a while, and they were both giggling, lips pressed together, when the first explosion of a firework startled them to look out, back over the Hudson. Slowly, the fireworks built up speed, from every few seconds to one right after the other. 

Pete rested his head on Mikey’s shoulder, a thought drunkenly spilling from his lips before he could stop it. “I was worried,” He started, so close that Mikey could feel Pete’s breath on his ear. “That we were like fireworks. Hot, bright, beautiful, but went off too soon and would fizzle out into nothing, like it never happened.”

Mikey rested his head on Pete’s. He wanted to ask Pete to elaborate, to explain what that meant, but he couldn’t get the words right. The butterflies in his stomach were back and they were making it hard to speak. Luckily enough for him, Pete seemed to have another thought.

“I-” He cleared his throat and tried again. “Mikey, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Hmm?” Mikey hummed as he pulled away, just enough so he could face Pete instead. So he could watch the way the fireworks illuminated his features, more breathtaking than the fireworks themselves. 

“I knew what we talked about a few weeks ago, try it out, no labels, but Mikey,” Pete moved his hand to hold Mikey’s cheek. It wasn’t lost on him the way Mikey pressed into the gesture. “God, fuck, I don’t know how to say this so I just have to say it.” He shook his head, trying to get the courage to make the words come out and not sound stupid. “I want to call you my boyfriend. I want to be real, like real-real. I want a label because I want you more than I’ve wanted anything in my entire life. And I don’t want to pressure you, but between the fireworks and the alcohol and just how fucking amazing you are, I had to say it.”

“You want to be boyfriends?” Mikey repeated, trying out the word for himself, seeing how it felt in his mouth. He liked it. He more than liked it. He loved it.

“Yes, fuck yes, so much.” Pete laughed, nervous and tight.

“Pete,” Mikey said, low in his throat, softer than he meant to. He placed his hand on the back of Pete’s neck, pulled him closer because the fireworks and alcohol were having an effect on him as well. “I want that to.” Then he could lean in. He got those words out and now he could lean in and kiss Pete, kiss him for real, as his friend, as his love, as his  _ boyfriend _ . 

And the butterflies seemed to change then, change into something bigger and more electric. There were no longer butterflies in his stomach, there were fireworks in his chest that went off every time he looked at Pete, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. 


End file.
